Author Anonymous

by E.K. Blair

This is my escape; these are my moments of freedom. I love my home life, but I love this life too.

To him, I can be anything . . . anyone. A smile crawls onto my lips as I think about what type of game I want to play here. I’m a blank canvas that I can paint however I desire. For the first time ever, I get to be the character in my own fantasy land.

We have this barrier between us that grants a protective shield, just like when I write. Hiding behind a keyboard makes me brave. I can say anything, be anything.

His flirtatious words cause something inside me to stir—a warmth I’m not used to feeling, but it intoxicates.

His voice breaks my reluctance for a moment, and I do what I can to push myself to do something I would never do in real life. Because this isn’t real. It’s simply a false perception of reality I’ve created for my entertainment.

“What are you thinking about?” Alec’s voice is silk, slipping through the phone and caressing my ear softly. “You.” I shouldn’t be so honest. I should lie. I should hang up. I should go home.

and in this moment, if he were in this bed with me, I’d let him do just about anything to my body because I’m suspended so far above reality that I’m someone else entirely.

Tears paint the passing seconds, and his next text breaks a piece of my heart. Alec: Don’t you dare send me a fucking Dear John letter. But that’s exactly what I’m sending, and it hurts me to know that even he can feel it. Me: Just send me your email.

She appears the same to me when I look at her, but I know she no longer is. She’s someone I don’t know, but she stares back at me with mythomane in her eyes, which harbor compulsive lies and marrow-deep fantasy.

but I can’t stop. I don’t want to. It’s too good. It’s too raw. It’s the most potent narcotic of my life.

head? A million questions fall in fractals all around me, a glittering, shimmering kaleidoscope of colors that gives no answers. Are the brilliant flecks sparks of the love and desire that burn so blissfully under my skin every time I think about Alec? Or are they sparkling illusions reflecting the lies off their mirrored facets to blind me from seeing the truth?