Maybe this is why I ask, What is the worst thing your parents have ever said to you? What is the worst thing you have ever seen them do? He is taken aback. He thinks for a long time. When he comes up empty-handed I say, There must have been a moment when you realized the meanness of a parent, and the look he gives me is the one that says this is not a competition, our upbringings, this is not up for discussion. So I shut up.
