Bridget Jones’s Diary

by Helen Fielding

It struck me as pretty ridiculous to be called Mr Darcy and to stand on your own looking snooty at a party. It’s like being called Heathcliff and insisting on spending the entire evening in the garden, shouting ‘Cathy’ and banging your head against a tree.

Message Cleave Please shut up. I am very busy and important. Jones. And after a few minutes more, he replied. Message Jones Sorry to interrupt, Jones, pressure must be hellish. Over and out. PS. I like your tits in that top. Cleave

Wise people will say Daniel should like me just as I am, but I am a child of Cosmopolitan culture, have been traumatized by supermodels and too many quizzes and know that neither my personality nor my body is up to it if left to its own devices.