LETTING GO: How to accept change, free up your thought patterns and start living life to the fullest

by Romuald Andrade

“The idea of cognitive behavioral therapy is to learn to distinguish negative thinking and find a healthier way to see the situation. The ultimate goal is to identify the primary assumptions out of which those thoughts ascend and assess them. Once the impreciseness of the assumption becomes clear, you can replace that perspective with a healthier accurate one.”

“The first step,” she said, “is stop – just that. Pause. The second step is ‘take a breath’. Notice how you’re breathing. The third step is ‘observe’. Ask yourself some questions. ‘What thoughts are going through my mind right now?’

‘Where is my focus of attention?’ ‘What am I reacting to?’ ‘What sensations do I notice in my body?’ ‘What thoughts do I need to defuse?’ The fourth step is ‘Pull back and put in some perspective.’ Ask yourself what the bigger picture is. What is another way of looking at the situation? What advice would you give a friend? What would a safe and trusted friend say about the situation? Ask yourself how important it is. How important will it be in six months? And to remind yourself the situation and experience will pass. The last step is ‘Practice what works and proceed.’ What is the best thing to do right now? What is best for me, for others, and for the situation? What can you do that fits with your values? And only do what will be effective and appropriate.”