And Every Morning the Way Home Gets Longer and Longer

by Fredrik Backman

The boy recognizes the flowers, they’re Grandma’s, they smell like Christmas. For other children maybe that scent would be ginger biscuits and mulled wine, but if you’ve ever had a Grandma who loved things that grew then Christmas will always smell like hyacinths.

“When a brain fades it takes a long time for the body to realize. The human body has a tremendous work ethic; it’s a mathematical masterpiece, it’ll keep working until the very last light. Our brains are the most boundless equation, and once humanity solves it it’ll be more powerful than when we went to the moon. There’s no greater mystery in the universe than a human. Do you remember what I told you about failing?” “The only time you’ve failed is if you don’t try once more.”

“Our teacher made us write a story about what we want to be when we’re big,” Noah tells him. “What did you write?” “I wrote that I wanted to concentrate on being little first.”

“That’s a very good answer.” “Isn’t it? I would rather be old than a grown-up. All grown-ups are angry, it’s just children and old people who laugh.”

“Did you write that?” “Yes.” “What did you...

“She said I hadn’t understood the task.” “And what did you say?” “I said she hadn...

“You never became ordinary to me, my love. You were electric shocks and fire.”

and Grandma’s things are still everywhere.

“It hurts less and less. That’s one good thing about forgetting things. You forget the things that hurt too.”

“What does it feel like?” “Like constantly searching for something in your pockets. First you lose the small things, then it’s the big ones. It starts with keys and ends with people.”

I’m in space for a few moments, have to blink and rub my eyes and let my brain take a couple of extra steps to remember who I am and where I am. To get home. That’s the road that’s getting longer and longer every morning, the way home from space.

I’m sailing on a big calm lake, Noahnoah.”

For some reason places and directions seem to be the first thing to disappear. First you forget where you’re going, then where you’ve been, and eventually where you are . . . or . . .

“She got lost in my heart, I think. Couldn’t find her way out.

“No. Because if you forget me then you’ll just get the chance to get to know me again. And you’ll like that, because I’m actually a pretty cool person to get to know.” Grandpa laughs and the square shakes. He knows no greater blessing.

“But the universe gave you both Noah. He’s the bridge between you. That’s why we get the chance to spoil our grandchildren, because by doing that we’re apologizing to our children.”

“We can walk down the road with him. We can keep him company.”

They stare at one another and breathe. Breathe and breathe and breathe. It’s a never-ending rage, being angry at the universe.

it’s always very easy to declare that other people are idiots, but only if you forget how idiotically difficult being human is.

Especially if you have other people you’re trying to be a reasonably good human being for.

Because there’s such an unbelievable amount that we’re all supposed to be able to cope with these days. You’re supposed to have a job, and somewhere to live, and a family, and you’re supposed to pay taxes and have clean underwear and remember the password to your damn Wi-Fi. Some of us never manage to get the chaos under control, so our lives simply carry on, the world spinning through space at two million miles an hour while we bounce about on its surface like so many lost socks. Our hearts are bars of soap that we keep losing hold of; the moment w...

about our jobs and our marriages and our children and everything else. We pretend we’re normal, that we’re reasonably well educated, that we understand “amortization levels” and “inflation rates.” That we know how sex works. In truth, we know as much about sex as we do about USB leads, and it always takes us four...

round, there! In!) We pretend to be good parents when all we really do is provide our kids with food and clothing and tell them off when they put chewing gum they find on the ground in their mouths. We tried keeping tropical fish once and they all died. And we really don’t know more about children than...