Successful Stages in Reunification:: A Guide for Professionals Helping Children and Parents Rebuild After Divorce

by Steffanie Brooks-Aguilar

Appropriate parenting includes providing emotional support, monitoring children's activities, disciplining authoritatively, and maintaining age-appropriate expectations.” (APA.org,2004)

The first goal is to reduce conflict and emotional trauma of the co-parents then within the whole family.

For example, focusing only on the non-custodial parent getting along with the child and ignoring the passive-aggressive messages the custodial parent may be using with the child to maintain the conflict between co-parents.

mistrust and hurt that can leave the whole family overwhelmed and shut down.

Any restraining orders that need to be honored?

Any physical or mental diagnosis for child or parent?

Any reports of domestic violence or abuse?

Are there comments or accusations made toward one parent by the other in court document?

What is the amount of custody for both co-parents?

Parental alienation is the purposeful distancing of one co-parent by the other to reduce the amount of time they get with the child or to create a negative relationship between the parent and child.

there any mention of a caregiver, family member or new spouse that is also involved with the child care?

preparation stage, we are helping the co-parents find acceptance of this process, begin to practice conflict resolution skills and pass that on to their child so they all believe it will benefit

If this co-parent is completely unwilling to make changes or face their own issues, then the court is notified with an update that this parent is not able to meet the needs of the child at this time. For the safety and concern of the child’s needs we cannot force a child to be with a parent who is volatile and unable to care about their child’s feelings.

It’s so vital that rapport begins immediately with the co-parents. It’s not our job to make the judgement of who may be at fault and who may be the victim in their divorce.

10 minutes early. They begin to set up and prepare while we offer them mental and emotional encouragement.