Hello, Universe

by Erin Entrada Kelly

“Who was at the door, cupcake?” I can tell that’s what he says, because it’s a logical question and he always calls me cupcake. I should probably hate it because it’s a babyish nickname, but I hope he calls me cupcake even when I’m really old, like thirty.

“I’m just saying. It can’t be easy for Virgil. First off, he’s a Pisces.” Kaori turned away from the star chart and walked to the edge of her circle rug. Gen followed at her heels. “Look at the sign for Pisces. It’s two fish swimming in opposite directions. Do you know why?” Gen shook her head. “Because Pisces are always at odds with themselves. They’re never quite sure what to do. No self-confidence. Overly sensitive.” Gen squatted down to get a good look at the fish. “Now look at Scorpio,” Kaori said. Gen’s dark eyes shifted to the neighboring sign on the rug. “Ew. It’s a bug.” “No,” Kaori snapped, as if Gen had just cursed both their parents. “Well, yes. It’s a bug. But not just any bug. It’s a scorpion, Gen. A scorpion. Do you know what that means?” “She has a tail?” Kaori apologized to the spirits again, then said, “No. It means she’s sharp and independent. She’s assertive, full of confidence. She’s probably got a little temper, too, and a ton of friends, all competing for her attention, while poor Virgil talks to a rodent. Basically, they’re the exact opposite of each other. Nothing in common, I bet. Not a thing.” Gen considered this. She looked up at her sister. “Maybe she likes rodents, too.” Kaori sighed for a third time. “Don’t be ridiculous,” she said.

Virgil swallowed. “While they argued, he gathered grains of sand from the beach. He could only carry a handful at a time. The village was so busy arguing that they didn’t notice what he was doing. Then big ships came and tried to invade. But they couldn’t get in because Paulito had built a fortress, one handful at a time.” Ruby waited. “And?” “And they crowned him king of the island. He was the best king they ever had.”

“It’s not being brave if you aren’t scared.” “Yes, but I don’t do anything. I don’t fight at all.” “There are many ways to fight. Maybe you just haven’t been ready. But you’ll be ready next time.” “I don’t want a next time.” “My dear Bayani,” said Ruby. “There is always a next time.”

“Crying is good for the soul,” said Ruby softly. “It means something needs to be released. And if you don’t release the something, it just weighs you down until you can hardly move.”

“I miss her.” He said it quietly, embarrassed even in front of himself. But it needed to be said. When you say things aloud, you let them go. Lola had told him that once. But it didn’t feel like it worked, because he still missed her.

But I don’t mind that he’s being quiet. Some people are shy, that’s all. It doesn’t mean he doesn’t have manners. I know what it’s like to have people waiting on you to say the right thing, even if you don’t know what the right thing is. That’s how I feel when people forget the how-tos.

Virgil made direct eye contact with Chet, and before he even knew what he was doing, he stopped. Sacred stopped, too. The Bull pulled up his knees and wrapped his arms around the ball. His eyes darted from Sacred to Virgil. “What’re you looking at, retardo?” Was that a tremor in his voice? Virgil’s arms hung at his sides. Sacred nudged his hand. “Call me that again, and you’ll regret it,” Virgil said. The Bull’s uncertain smile faded. He cleared his throat. “Whatever,” he said. “It doesn’t take many words to turn your life around, Bayani.”

When it’s time for the universe to speak, it will. If I’m going into business with her, I guess I should learn how to say things like that. Or at least try to understand what they mean. I think I kind of have an idea, though. It’s not that different from how I talk to Saint Rene. I don’t know if Saint Rene is listening. I don’t know if Saint Rene is even able to listen. For all I know, Saint Rene no longer exists and I’m just talking to nothing. But Saint Rene might be somewhere, listening and nodding and helping me along. Who knows?