Never Always Sometimes

by Adi Alsaid

“I don’t want to be miserable with you, Dave,” she said, scrunching a tissue in her hand. “I want to be with you. More than anything I’ve ever really wanted. I think things have been a little off, yes. But I also think maybe we can fix that.” Another tear started to scurry down the bridge of her nose and she quickly brushed it away, not giving it a chance to interrupt. “But I don’t want to start getting paranoid about whether you want to be with me or someone else. I don’t want to start analyzing your every action. I don’t want us to start hating each other because we don’t know how to be in a relationship together.” She tossed her scrunched-up tissue in the garbage beneath his desk. “I think this can work between us. I really do. But I’m going to let you decide, because otherwise I’ll always have the doubt. Are we going to try this out, or do you think we shouldn’t?” After a long moment with his eyes closed, his head resting back against his wall, nausea knotting his stomach, Dave let out his breath. When had everything he’d ever wanted changed? “I love you, Julia. But maybe I’m not supposed to love you like this.”