The Journey Home: Autobiography of an American Swami

by Radhanath Swami

“In the Talmud,” he said, “a book on Jewish law written by Rabbis thousands of years ago, it is taught that it is better to pray to God for the strength to overcome temptations, difficulties, and doubts in order to do His will, rather than to pray for Him to do our will.”

At the same time, I was also beginning to understand that to hate those who hated me was to share the same disease. I longed to break through these sectarian barriers and discover the inner essence of all religions, the oneness of God.

Through the history of mankind, the powers of nature take everything away from us. Why put off seeking the eternal jewel of enlightenment? Now is the time.

No one before had ever preached to me like that.

I was gaining striking lessons on how every religion has so many levels of practitioners and how shallow it would be to generalize about an entire religion from a few of its followers.

Although the dire poverty was disheartening, the people of Herat appeared to be the happiest, most carefree people I’d ever seen. This surreal combination of poverty and happiness short-circuited my intellect.

I realized that our free will could convert a curse into a blessing or a blessing into a curse. Yes, ludicrous as it was, this mongoose may have been sent to teach me the sacred virtue of patience and forbearance.

Kandahar had been extraordinary. From a mongoose, I had learned patience; from a den of hashish addicts, temperance; and from a blind boy, spiritual joy.

I had once read that humans without a spiritual path are like two-legged animals.

He told a story about the devil who was walking with a friend. They witnessed a man ahead of them on the road picking up a brilliant object. The devil’s friend turned and asked what the man had found. The devil answered, “He has picked up the truth.” “That’s a bad business for you,” the friend said. “Not at all,” the devil replied. “I am going to help him organize it.”

He identified a common problem among spiritual practitioners—that one can do meditation in the morning and evening, but during the activities and dealings of the day, show petty-mindedness and selfishness.

It translated my inner joys, sorrows, and aspirations into sweet music. Over time, there had evolved between us the natural dialogue of the player and the played. In many ways, we were like lovers.

to the degree one feels unworthy of grace, one will be grateful when it comes.

“God is one, and everything originates only from Him.”

“The cause of all suffering is when we forget our identity with God. That is called Maya, or illusion. God is everywhere. You need not search to find Him. If you call Him with sincerity, He will reveal Himself to you. God sees within the heart not the externals.

“People are chasing the temporary. Do you not see that they are on the road to death?”

Although that woman was plagued with a despicable disease, beneath the surface she was a beautiful soul who only wanted to love and be loved.

But if we search beneath the surface we discover that a myriad of strains mix together to create a particular person’s nature. The faults we perceive are likely to be the effect of circumstances, the psychological response to trauma, abuse, rejection, heartbreak, insecurity, pain, confusion, or disease.

“All sorrow comes from the sense of I and mine.

By sorrow does the Lord dispel sorrow and by adversity does He destroy adversity.

“I can create ashes. God can create universes.”

“The sacred fire is our temple. No shoes are allowed. Actually, we were not angry. This is our method to teach you a lesson you will never forget. Dhooni Baba has given you much kindness today.”

The Zen Master had been extremely strict with his students, but not with himself.

“I couldn’t take it any longer and quit my duties as a priest to accept the life of a sadhu.”

But despite all they do in her temple, the Goddess Kali is a vegetarian.”

He then described that the name Hare was an invocation for Radha, the divine energy or female counterpart of the Lord. “It is she that is the origin and giver of the love of God. Krishna is a name of God that means He is all-attractive. And the name Rama means the Lord is the supreme enjoyer and bestows unending bliss to those who offer Him their love.”

Bustling crowds were gathered around us and my mind was exploding with excitement. I spontaneously fell to my knees and extended my hand to touch his feet. A thunderous voice shouted, “No one touches Prabhupada’s feet.” Struck with shame, I retracted my hand. But Srila Prabhupada looked deeply into my eyes. I sensed that he could feel the pain of my shame and felt responsible for the cutting words of his disciple. I felt a wave of affection pouring out from him. Then with a beaming smile, he gently spoke, “You may touch my feet.”

I caught myself mentally criticizing them as if I were superior. I didn’t want these thoughts, which exposed my own arrogance. I prayed to be purified from my own pollution of fault finding. But it was so hard. Living with the animals in the jungles was so much easier as they didn’t so thoroughly expose my own shortcomings.

I had come to understand that my traveling from place to place and teacher to teacher had its limitations. Part of my hesitation to accept initiation into one religion, I realized, had to do with a fear of division from others.

He explained to me that this caste system was actually a gross perversion of an ancient scriptural teaching, the vedic varnashram, which teaches that, just as the human body has a head, arms, belly, and legs, and each limb is meant to perform its function for the benefit of the whole body, in the social body, one is taught to accept responsibilities for the social and spiritual benefit of oneself as well as everyone in society according to one’s natural inclinations and skills.

The nature of the mind is to interpret nonessentials essential.

How important it is to be an instrument to bring out the inherent good of each other rather than the worst.

the greatest service to Rama is to help others to know Him and love Him.”

I had once heard an old analogy from the American Indians, and it came to my mind now. Within every heart dwell two dogs, a bad dog and a good dog, both at battle with one another.

Hypocrisy in religion has crippled peoples’ faith throughout history.

“Better to be a sincere sweeper of the street than a charlatan meditator.”

I thought about that poor man pretending to be a sadhu. His bad dog is barking loudly, and he’s daily feeding it enormous portions of rice and dhal.

“Beware. There are scorpions in the guise of butterflies.”

Then there are the black tantrics who use their powers to exploit people’s lives for their own diabolical purposes. They gain terrible influence through unspeakable sacrifices, tantric sex rites, and yoga. This guru was an extremely powerful black tantric, endowed with the power to control people’s minds and manipulate their lives.

the subtle body covering the soul.

Spirituality is a matter of the heart,

Srila Prabhupada, too, expressed such genuine love for Lord Krishna, as an all-attractive person. Did this contradict the beliefs of those yogis who strove to merge their souls into a supreme impersonal oneness? Did it conflict with the practices of Buddhists who strove for a perfection of a quality-less nirvana? As a child, I had naturally prayed to God in a personal way, but as I studied philosophies, I found more and more leanings toward God being an all-pervading existence.

In every spiritual path, there are those who are true and those who are false. Saintliness is not determined by one’s title, dress, hairstyle, or place of residence.

I had observed that when Westerners frequented any place in India, commercialism tended to spread like an epidemic.

Love of God is the inherent nature of the soul and is dormant within everyone. But we have forgotten.

“Lord Chaitanya taught that one should strive to be more humble than a blade of grass, more tolerant than a tree,

“You see this grass? It is happy to serve everyone, even by remaining in the most humble position under our feet. Whenever it’s stepped on, it comes right back up, to serve. We can learn from this humility.”

By chanting the name of Rama and Krishna, everything is accomplished.

If you associate with the Supreme Friend, He will reveal His true beauty to you.”

knew there were differences in explanations as to the meaning of these forms of worship, but I saw the common idea they shared, to focus on a form or sound that connects our consciousness to the divinity.