The Shadow of What Was Lost (The Licanius Trilogy, #1)

by James Islington

“As to the other…well, they hate us so much because they fear us. And they fear us because they know they can never control us. Not completely. Even though the Tenets make them our masters for now, we’ll always be stronger than them. Better than them. That’s a hard thing for people to accept, and it’s what drives them to push us down at every opportunity. They broke us once, and now they worry that if they don’t keep at it, we will rise up again and exact vengeance.” There was no heat to his words, only resignation.

“You’re him. The boy Taeris Sarr saved.” “You’ve heard about it?” Davian couldn’t keep the surprise from his tone. Ilseth gave a short laugh, though there was no amusement in it. “I doubt there are many Gifted in Ilin Illan who haven’t. Administration claimed Sarr found a way to break the Tenets in order to kill those men. He denied it, of course, but it made little difference to the Northwarden. Sarr was executed before Tol Athian could even formally protest.” Davian nodded, a little sadly. He’d never been able to thank the man who had saved him. Sarr’s execution had troubled Davian more than his injuries, in some ways. It had shown him exactly how little saving his life had been worth.

“Regardless, I can’t risk anyone realizing that Davian got away. I would ask you whether he foresaw what I was planning, or whether he saved your friend through sheer dumb luck—but I doubt you know. And if you don’t know about that, I doubt you understand why the escherii spared you, either. But still…if it saw fit to let you live, then I suppose I should do the same. There are always reasons for these things.”

“For myself, and my siblings. Four hunt. One hides, cognizant of what he is. A true traitor. An escherii.” The man gazed at her. “And I Watch.” Suddenly shouts echoed from outside, and the hooded figure rose. “I must go.” He leaned forward. “I ask only one thing of you. When the time comes, do not let Vhalire suffer.”

“There are other sha’teth?” he asked, echoing Davian’s thoughts. Taeris nodded. “Four of them. The one you killed was their best tracker, though. We called him the Watcher. When the other sha’teth would leave the Tol to search for someone, he was never with them.

“They can’t hear us now, but I can’t do this for long, either,” he said calmly, his voice finally gaining a hint of the warmth she remembered. “I know this must be confusing, but there’s no time to explain so you are going to have to trust me. You’ll be making a deal with the Shadraehin soon—the real one. When you do, I need you to tell her that Tal’kamar is taking Licanius to the Wells, and that the information is a gift from me. Can you do that?”

“Now, this is equally important. When you find out that I’m at Ilshan Gathdel Teth, don’t come after me. I’m fine. The Venerate can’t kill me, but they will kill you—you are the one they want. I’m just the bait. Remember that.”

“Don’t tell anyone else that you saw me. Especially not me. They’ve Read…they’ve Read so many of us now. There’s no telling whose mind is safe, these days.” He shook his head as he saw her baffled expression. “I’m so sorry. You’ll understand when the time comes.”

“You are in serious danger, Tal’kamar. If the people you are with find out who you really are, they will kill you without a second’s hesitation. We are at war, and though they may not seem like it now, they are the enemy.” His expression was deadly serious.

“I was accused of a crime, from before I can remember. Killing people…slaughtering them for no reason.” He watched Alaris closely, dreading the answer. “Is that the kind of man I am? Would I have done that?” Alaris hesitated. “No, Tal’kamar,” he said softly. “Never without a reason.”

“This is important, though, Wirr. I don’t believe he knew what he was doing. The look in his eyes…it was vacant. Like he wasn’t even really there. I think what he did was from a pure survival instinct, nothing more.”

“I have something I need you to remember. A message from me,” he said. “That it was worth it. It changed me. And…I am so very sorry.”

“Who are you?” he asked, breathing heavily. “Why are you here?” The man stopped, blinking as if surprised by the question. “We are here to stop you, Tal’kamar,” he eventually replied, his voice emotionless.

“He said it was because Aarkein Devaed wanted you alive,” said Scyner. “You’ve been marked by him, and none of his creatures can touch you.” He stared at her for a long moment. “I wonder why that is.”

“You have lived for over four thousand years, and done so much evil and so much good. You are a legend here amongst the Lyth, despised and beloved, famous and infamous both. You are Tal’kamar,”

“You have asked me to only restore specific memories—the ones that will help you fight in the coming war. No others.” He hesitated. “Against my advice.” Caeden frowned. “Only some? Why would I want that?” Asar sighed. “I think…I think you wanted to change who you were.” He leaned forward. “The problem, Tal’kamar, is that if you do not know who you were, you cannot know to change.”