The Home Barista: How to Bring Out the Best in Every Coffee Bean

by Simone Egger

Legend describes a ninth-century, Ethiopian goatherd named Kaldi finding his flock up on their hind legs dancing after eating coffee cherries. Or, as is more likely (though less colorful), he noticed they were perkier than usual and they didn’t sleep that night. Kaldi reported his findings to the local abbot (“Those blasted goats annoyed the bejesus outta me last night.”). The abbot then boiled the berries and noticed he was more alert for that evening’s prayer. He then made a few more cups to share with the rest of the monastery, and the good word about coffee spread.

Central American coffees are known for balance. Think cocoa flavors, a fruity background and a soft sweetness with varying levels of acidity.

Really good Guatemalan coffees have a moderate body and are bright, clean and powerful, with a taste range that includes chocolaty, spicy and smoky as well as delicate, floral and buttery.

Mexican coffee is known for being light-bodied and mild; it’s naturally sweet, so good for darker espresso roasts.

coffees from South America have been more generally described as having a clean mouthfeel and lively acidity, and for being slightly sweet.

The beans are burnt. Any coffee made from these will taste a bit like rubbery charcoal.

It’s also a good skill to have in case you’re ever stranded in the forest with just a fire, a skillet and some green coffee beans (with your only alternative an ancient can of instant).

“It is disgusting to notice the increase in the quantity of coffee used by my subjects, and the like amount of money that goes out of the country in consequence. My people must drink beer. His Majesty was brought up on beer, and so were his ancestors.”

When meeting a potential daughter-in-law, families would carefully assess how skillfully she brewed and served coffee. Meanwhile she would slip salt instead of sugar into her prospective bridegroom’s cup, and if he managed to keep a polite expression while drinking, it was considered a sign that he was even-tempered. The importance of coffee even extended to the wedding ceremony, where the groom had to promise to provide his new wife with coffee. If he failed to do so, it was grounds for divorce.

“Grounds for divorce.” Nice one.