You Can't Touch My Hair: And Other Things I Still Have to Explain

by Phoebe Robinson

Remember on Grey’s Anatomy when Izzie stole a heart for Denny, a heart transplant patient she fell in love with, but he died anyway? It was all very sad, but then things got ri-Donkey-Kong-ulous because months later, she started having sex with his ghost. Many fans of the show were like, “The Lord is testing me with this story line. I’m out.” Not I! I was like, “The Lord is testing me? Well, good thing I brought my TI-83 calc and number two pencil. Let’s do this.” I kept watching Grey’s in spite of all the gintercourse, aka ghost intercourse. I’m not overwhelmingly proud about that level of commitment, but, nevertheless, I deserve some props for sticking with this crazy plot. I mean, I stuck it out past the Izzie-lighting-scented-candles-for-sex-with-what-is-essentially-recycled-air-from-her-home’s-central-cooling-system scene. I overlooked her and Ghost Denny’s “O” faces. And finally, when it was revealed that the gintercourse was actually her hallucinating due to a brain tumor, I didn’t dive out my window because I wasted several weeks on this story line—instead, I watched two more seasons rather than do something productive, like getting my student loan payments in order. #Priorities.