Pussies, excuse me, vaginas, shouldn’t be the symbol of “bad” behavior; the symbol should be Donald Trump and his Cheetos-dust skin tone. Furthermore, vaginas are not weak or scary. They’re amazingly strong. And they’re self-cleaning. Basically, women have a Whirlpool dishwasher in their pants at all times. That’s some goddamned wizardry! Screw Harry Potter! Why isn’t J. K. Rowling writing a book about the magic of the vajeen and calling it what I call mine: Dolly Parton and the Coat of Many Colors? BTdubs, I call my vagina “Dolly Parton and the Coat of Many Colors”—sorry, you can’t unknow
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