Emotional Agility: Get Unstuck, Embrace Change, and Thrive in Work and Life

by Susan David

Industrialized society, especially now that it’s amped up with so much technology, encourages us to push ourselves to our limits. Certain professions—law, medicine, investment banking, business, technology—bake that intensity right into the job description. But even people in less competitive careers feel the pressure. We all now run faster, work harder, stay up later, and multitask more aggressively just to keep up. In this environment, in which we’re expected to approach life like an endless Ironman competition, showing yourself compassion can be seen as a sign that you lack ambition or don’t care about success as much as the person next to you does. There’s a misconception that you need to be tough on yourself to maintain your edge. But people who are more accepting of their own failures may actually be more motivated to improve. Self-compassionate people aim just as high as self-critical people do. The difference is that self-compassionate people don’t fall apart when, as sometimes happens, they don’t meet their goals. It could be that self-compassion actually sharpens your edge. After all, it’s associated with health behaviors such as eating right, exercising, sleeping well, and managing stress during tough times, which is when you need to care for yourself the most. It even strengthens your immune system, helping to ward off illness, while encouraging social connection and positive emotion. All of this helps you to keep on truckin’ and be your best self.