“It was useful because we survived it,” she said. “It’s all still there—she’s the sweet aging mother whom I can take on vacation and try to please. I’m the adult daughter who built her life an ocean away. And she’s also still that person who can destroy me. I’m also still that little girl with no resources. And now we know that we can go there and return, the fire isn’t going to burn us alive. We can touch those things, and we can survive.”
