The Book of the Unnamed Midwife (The Road to Nowhere, #1)

by Meg Elison

Some people had been waiting their whole lives to live lawlessly, and they were the first to take to the streets. Some people knew that would happen; they knew better than to open their doors when they heard cries of help. Others didn’t. What disease cannot do, people accomplish with astonishing ease.

Alone, she looked around in every direction, and there was no reason to go in any of them. No one waited at the end of any road, no purpose or burden came with any choice. It was like falling through something with no bottom.

She gave herself the luxury of a few days of madness. They were dark and deep and held in them the wreck of the entirety of civilization.

It was all so absurd that she couldn’t comprehend it. She had just shot six men in a saloon. She was a cowboy. She felt nothing. Not remorse, not elation.

It does no good to tell a beautiful woman how beautiful she is. If she already knows, it gives her power over the fool who tells her. If she does not, there is nothing that can be said to make her believe it.

“Do you ever want to have kids?” She looked at him levelly. He did not intend to be cruel. No one who presses this question does; it’s just something they desperately need to nail down about you. To know, and put you down as normal or abnormal.

Jack calmly administered a fatal overdose of morphine to himself. His last thought was that to die in such peace in a world like this was the most privileged and selfish act he had ever committed.

If they could have compared notes, one colony of survivors to another, they would have found that the number of successful human births on Earth that year had been zero. But they did not know, and so hope persisted.

Dino looked hopeful. He finished his stew and kept his eyes down. He was studiedly trying not to look eager. He had learned to mask the intensity of his feelings toward women; Jane could see it. He was consciously trying to not scare her, and she liked him for it.

“Did you fuck her today?” “Well, yeah.” “Did she say yes?” “You don’t understand.” “Stand or kneel?” “Please don’t shoot. Please. I’ll make it up to her. I’ll never touch her again, or anyone else. I didn’t mean to hurt her.” His eyes were green in his haggard face. They darted as he begged. “I can’t fix you. I don’t have the time to teach you why you’re wrong if you don’t already know. So this is it. Stand or kneel?”

They lit candles against the dark and waited. Without birth, life is only that wait.

The cities stopped burning. The stars filled the skies of places that hadn’t seen them since man started burning coal. Herd animals took to the plains. Salmon swelled the rivers. The earth grew quiet, and everything seemed to teem with life and hold its breath, waiting.