My Not So Perfect Life

by Sophie Kinsella

When that number appeared on my calculator screen I actually laughed out loud a bit hysterically. People talk about the generation gap. Generation chasm, more like. Generation Grand Canyon. There isn’t any ladder big enough to stretch from my place in life to Demeter’s place in life, not without something extraordinary happening, like the lottery, or rich parents, or some genius website idea that makes my fortune.

I had a choice: Follow my heart or don’t break his. I think in the end I broke a bit of both our hearts. Which the rest of the world doesn’t understand, because they think it’s normal to move out and away from home. But they aren’t my dad and me, who lived together, just us, for all those years.

Flora’s theory is that Demeter’s so paranoid about being overtaken by her young staff that she won’t help anyone. If you even try to climb the ladder, she stamps on your fingers with her Miu Miu shoes.

I must admit, the air is amazing here. In fact, the whole place is amazing. Dad thinks I’ve completely rejected Somerset, but I haven’t. I’ve just made a choice about how to live my life—

“Every promotion requires you to do less of the thing you originally wanted to do. Don’t you find?”

“Well.” I shrug. “You know. That’s Instagram for you.” “Fair enough.” She nods. “Everything’s hype and spin. But you can’t believe it all. Not of yourself…and not of other people.” Her eyes flick to me and away again. I know what she means. She means: Why did you believe my hype when you knew your own hype was all fiction? And it’s a fair point. I’ve had time to reflect about this—and I think I believed it because I wanted to believe it so badly. I wanted London to be full of perfect princesses like Demeter, living their perfect-princess lives.

think I’ve finally worked out how to feel good about life. Every time you see someone’s bright-and-shiny, remember: They have their own crappy truths too. Of course they do. And every time you see your own crappy truth and feel despair and think, Is this my life, remember: It’s not. Everyone’s got a bright-and-shiny, even if it’s hard to find sometimes.