Why We Broke Up

by Daniel Handler

the thing with your heart’s desire is that your heart doesn’t even know what it desires until it turns up.

At the time it was cute.

But that’s why right there it was doomed. We couldn’t only have the magic nights buzzing through the wires. We had to have the days, too, the bright impatient days spoiling everything with their unavoidable schedules, their mandatory times that don’t overlap, their loyal friends who don’t get along, the unforgiven travesties torn from the wall no matter what promises are uttered past midnight, and that’s why we broke up.