I was three weeks into one of my failed attempts to stop. The attempt had been triggered by my wife’s worry about my constant wheezing and coughing. I had told her I was not worried about my health. She said, ‘I know you aren’t, but how would you feel if you had to watch someone you love systematically destroying themselves?’ It was an argument that I found irresistible, hence the attempt to stop. The attempt ended at around the three week mark after a heated argument with an old friend. It did not register until years afterwards that my devious mind had deliberately triggered the argument. I
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