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“Tim Tebow is not an athlete—athlete is what Tim fills in on his tax return. That does not begin to tell the story of who he is. Tim is a role model, an inspiration to those who have a dream and are willing to accept life as a journey full of ups and downs.” —JON BON JOVI, singer-songwriter
You know what I’ve learned in the process? How important it is not to allow either the highs or the lows in life to determine who you are.
But I’ll say that in those places of doubt and even of darkness, I’ve realized that who I am has nothing to do with wins or losses, applause, or negative criticism. It has to do with whose I am.
They’ll also uncover the lessons I’ve learned through that time, like what it means to stay grounded in the face of doubt, fear, and criticism; why others matter; and how our objective in life is not to be like everyone else.
CUT
We must accept finite disappointment, but we must never lose infinite hope. —MARTIN LUTHER KING JR.
I love what Mike Tyson reportedly said, something like “Everyone’s got a plan until they get punched in the face.” That’s just what it felt like for me.
Though I carried the crushing weight of disappointment, I was working so hard to reenergize myself with confidence. Not in myself. Not in my abilities or my athleticism. I was drawing inner strength in whose I was. In the One who created me. In the One who loved me beyond all love.
I made a conscious choice not to quit. Not to gripe. Not to pout. Not to let others define me. And not to live in disappointment or regret. Believe me when I tell you, I wanted to be angry! And I was tempted to stay in that place. But I had to go back to the place of trusting God. So I made the choice, on purpose, to put in the hard work of training while lying low.
I continually made the choice to trust God with the plan while doing my part and putting in the work.
WHO AM I?
There is no greater discovery than seeing God as the author of your destiny. —RAVI ZACHARIAS
I like to say that identity comes not necessarily from who we are, but from whose we are. I am a child of God. My foundation for who I am is grounded in my faith. In a God who loves me. In a God who gives me purpose. In a God who sees the big picture. In a God who always has a greater plan. Who am I? I am the object of His love. That’s a big deal.
God doesn’t choose to love. It’s His nature, His essence, His being. “God is love.”2 It’s what motivates His every move, inspires His action. It’s a reflection of His heart, His character. God was love even before creation, because He has always been part of an eternal community of love: the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.3
Knowing I am the object of His love lays the groundwork for who I am. I am wanted. I am adopted into His family. I belong.
But who I am is not based on others, on fitting in, on belonging to a certain crowd, or on living a certain lifestyle. My identity is based on belonging to God. No one can take this foundation away from me.
If people like me, I will strive to know whose I am. If people don’t like me, I will still strive to know whose I am. If I play football, I will strive to know whose I am. If I never play again, I’ll still strive to know whose I am. Whether I’m praised or criticized, popular or outcast, rich or poor, I will always strive to remember that I belong. That I am loved. That I am a child of God.
“God was authoring a bigger picture,” Mark told me. “He always gets you to where He wants you to be in spite of yourself.”
He told me, “God fills up so much of my life with good things that I don’t miss what I don’t have anymore.”
When who you are is grounded in whose you are, you realize it doesn’t matter what life throws your way. When your world starts to shake or fall apart, you can lean into Him for security, for safety. You can get through even the toughest of circumstances because God is on your side. He loves you more than you know. And He’s got everything under control more than you know. He’s got plans for you. Awesome plans! You and God are unstoppable!
Tim Keller said, “If your origin is insignificant and your destiny is insignificant, which means someday nobody will even remember anything you ever did, have the guts to admit your life is insignificant.”8
The Greek word for “workmanship” is poiema, or “poem.” Think about this. Before you were even born, God wrote a beautiful poem about your life. This masterpiece is about you doing not just meaningless or average things, but good works, wonderful things that make a difference. This means that you are important, significant. You matter!
when you trust in Him, you become part of a bigger picture. And you begin to live out this wonderful poem He has written for your life. This is the truth when life is smooth sailing, and this is the truth when storms come. And trust me, they will.
whether you’re stuck in a dead-end job eight hours a day, know that God is a big God.
God can do a lot with what we think is a little. How He can take something that can be described as “insignificant” or “not enough” or “small” or “meaningless” and use it to perform a miracle. He can do the same with you.
God doesn’t want your stuff. He wants your heart. It doesn’t matter if you don’t think it’s good enough.
No matter how many stupid things we’ve done, He doesn’t look at us as stupid. No matter how many times we’ve failed, He doesn’t look at us as failures. No matter how many foolish things we’ve done, He doesn’t look at us as fools. When we are willing to let God shape our identity, He will take whatever we have to offer and multiply it in ways and for a purpose that we cannot even begin to imagine.
What we have to realize is that God’s ability to love and forgive and restore is not the same as ours.
My best days are not behind me. They are in front of me. This reminds me of Stephen Covey’s personal motto: “Live life in crescendo! Your most important work is always ahead of you.”13
Hear my heart. My intention is not to minimize your pain or struggle. The tough times and trials we go through are real and painful. I get that. My hope is to encourage you in the midst of them. It’s not over for you. Wherever you are in life, this can be a beginning.
Don’t worry about your skills or what you lack. Don’t worry about your past junk. Don’t worry about what you lost. Don’t worry about what lies ahead. Don’t worry about what didn’t happen or what did. Be rooted in God. And watch as He unfolds a plan that has more love, more meaning, and more purpose than you could ever possibly imagine.
FACING THE GIANTS
Fear is a self-imposed prison that will keep you from becoming what God intends for you to be. You must move against it with the weapons of faith and love. —RICK WARREN
Fear can push or motivate you to do things, sometimes even good things, but it will never take you as far as love can take you.
And what are you feeding more? Your fears, or your love for a God who has promised to be faithful?
I like what Martin Luther King Jr. said: “Faith is taking the first step even when you don’t see the whole staircase.”
We’ll never reach perfection in this life. The point is to have our faith stretched and challenged and growing so we can show the world that no matter how many times we get knocked down or fall short, we can still hold on to God’s promises.
But just because subconsciously I may have been acting like a spoiled brat, that didn’t mean I had to bench my faith.
A lot of what it means to work out your faith muscle is to choose to live above your feelings, to remember that He is God and that you are not. A friend of mine likes to say, “God is greater than your heart.”
Feelings are normal. They can change on a dime. They come. And they go. We need to understand this and learn how to live above them, not by them. This means going deep, gaining knowledge about God by praying and reading His Word. Staying grounded in whose we are. And choosing to do what’s right.
It’s not about being perfect. We will always be on a journey of growing closer to God.
THE VOICES OF NEGATIVITY
My point is you’ll never silence the critics.
As Sinclair Ferguson wrote, “It is misleading to say that God accepts us the way we are. Rather he accepts us despite the way we are.”3
But I’ve learned that if I’m motivated only by making others happy, by their approval or praise, I end up with a hollow feeling. While it makes you feel good to please people, it makes you feel fulfilled to please God.
When our self-worth crumbles, when we’re not feeling confident, when insecurities overwhelm us, we have to remember whose we are. It’s pretty amazing how our identity lays the groundwork for everything! So remind yourself how much God loves you and that He has a unique purpose and plan for your life. And stop comparing yourself and your journey to someone else’s.
Think about whether you want to wake up six months or a year from now being the same person you are today.
Ask yourself, Am I living just to get by? Or am I looking to improve, to change what I don’t like about myself, to be a better person?
While the guy who just shows up might happen to be the best on the team, the fastest and the strongest, by not putting in the work, he might be wasting even more of his potential. And while that first guy might not be the best overall, he is doing all he can to be his personal best. That’s what matters!
Share with the boys
I love the saying “Hard work beats talent when talent doesn’t work as hard.” Someone might be better, or stronger, or more talented, or more educated, but if we choose to put in the work of growth, we can perform at our best. And that’s what matters.
