Style (The OTP, #1)

by Chelsea M. Cameron

“So, anything new happen today?” my mom asked at dinner and I nearly choked on my asparagus.

I thought about taking down her hair and running my fingers through it. It looked soft and smooth. Just the image of wrapping it around my hands was just . . . yeah.

had come to the realization that glasses made any girl about five

thousand times hotter than she already was.

What the crap was happening to me?

how do I know if I like girls?

She started to read and for some reason, her voice got all low and melodic and holy shit. She didn’t stumble on any of the words and didn’t read it in the same robotic voice as everyone else. She read as if she was on stage, doing a dramatic recitation

Absolutely nothing. It was like looking at marble sculpture. Pleasing to the eye, but I didn’t want to buy it.

Still, I couldn’t take my eyes off her. As if it was planned that way, a shaft of sunlight broke through one of the windows and lit her hair on fire. If I didn’t know better, I would have said she looked like an angel.

Her eyes were crazy gorgeous up close. They weren’t just blue. They had little flecks of green, right around the center. Like emeralds in a pool of water. She blinked the longest lashes I’d ever seen on a real person and suddenly breathing became a chore.

People were right when they said Stella was like ice. An iceberg was a little more accurate. There was something below the surface that no one had seen before. I didn’t know what made me want to figure her out, but I did. I wanted it a lot.

off.” I’d like to bite her, but not in the way she was thinking.

Fuck with a side of fuck.

“I’m sorry, could you repeat that for the people in the back?” I said, cupping my hand to my ear.

Just a crush. A weird, out of the blue crush on a girl. Everyone had had one of those in their life, right? It didn’t mean I was . . . I mean, I still liked guys. I totally liked guys. I totally . . . Was staring at her boobs.

We’re both breathing a little too hard for what happened and then Stella did something that shocked me more than if she would have pulled out a gun and shot me. She kissed me.

or maybe I had been poisoned during lunch and this was some side effect,

Cute and pissed, but that was a good look for her.

I choked on a piece of popcorn and had to chug some water before I could breathe again.

My phone buzzed and I nearly swallowed my toothbrush.

The sarcasm was thick with this one.

I liked Stella. I really, really liked her and if she kissed me again, I’d kiss her back. I would so kiss her back.

Kyle kept driving and I kept stealing glances at her. Maybe more than glances. I wanted to lay in a flower-filled field and stare at her skin as shadows and sunlight played across it.

We stared at one another and something crackled between us. And then I was leaning forward and she was leaning forward and our mouths were meeting.

Kiss wasn’t even the right word. That was so much more than just a kiss. We should invent a new word for that.

“I

don’t know. I was like, thirteen? I think I just assumed everyone looked at girls that way. Because girls are beautiful and pretty and why wouldn’t you want them?

“I’m just saying. I know this one time I hit my head a little too hard at practice and that night I dreamed about dicks. So many dicks. I was just surrounded by them. Mmmmm . .

“There are never enough shows with lesbians,”

I wanted to kick myself for getting so distracted by the hot nerd.

it. I feigned a headache and went to my room, but I spent my time lurking around the gayer parts of Tumblr. I discovered there were a lot of people in similar situations and I stayed up late reading through stories. For the first time since everything had started, I felt like I could take a deep breath because there were people who had been through the same thing.

There was nothing like a compliment from Kyle to make me feel like I could conquer the world. Or at least a few countries.

Stella looked like a princess and I looked like the stable-hand or something.

You know what I hate? The assumption that all girls like boys.

I was never, ever, going to kiss a boy again. Like ever.

“If you think about it, we’re even luckier because not everyone gets a gay child. You’re rare. Like a diamond.”

“You don’t have to talk to me. I don’t want to put you in crisis. I don’t want to tear you apart. I just want you to be happy.” She started to cry and I pulled her into my arms, letting her rest her head on my shoulder. We were both freezing and she started to shake, but I wasn’t moving. I would freeze to death out here. I would let all my fingers and toes turn black and fall off from frostbite. I would stay here and hold my girl.

WTF was wrong with them?

“I’m going to think about you all night.” I shivered and she gave me a sly smile and wave before she yelled “Bye, girlfriend!” and drove away.

I had protected myself, but I would slay some fucking dragons for Kyle.

Afraid that they would know. Afraid that they could see me. With their gaydar.

I didn’t hate school, but if I had a choice, I wouldn’t go there every day. I’d much rather hang out in a huge library somewhere, reading whatever I wanted, day after day. Someday I’d get to do that. Maybe.

The beautiful girl who spent an entire summer with Tolstoy. The girl who loved animals and laughed in the library and was passionate about cheerleading. If anyone didn’t like that girl, they had some serious issues.

“I’d rather not subject myself to the rednecks tonight.” I had a feeling she’d say that, and I didn’t blame her. As liberal as our little town was, it was still incredibly white and people didn’t get called out on their shit as much as they should sometimes.

I would never, for the rest of my life, forget the way she looked at me.

I wondered if it was possible for your heart to stop and still live.

“If he’s scared by lesbians than I have some bad news for him. We’re everywhere.”