My favorite masturbation technique was to take a nice hot bath, soap up my baldy lad well and truly, and then give him a good old beating. At one stage I was going to write a screenplay all about my right hand, a love story. There would have been scenes where I let my hand brush against my thigh as a precursor to hitting on mysef. I’d blush. In another, my right hand would get jealous of my left.
