The Collapsing Empire (The Interdependency, #1)

by John Scalzi

“It’s not personal, Captain.” “Getting murdered for money feels personal, Ollie.”

“It’s not personal, Captain.” “Getting murdered for money feels personal, Ollie.”

And even that was a crap way of describing it, because human languages are crap at describing things more complex than assembling a tree house.

And even that was a crap way of describing it, because human languages are crap at describing things more complex than assembling a tree house.

No emperox of the Interdependency has ever been that popular. It’s not in the job description.”

No emperox of the Interdependency has ever been that popular. It’s not in the job description.”

“My position on what? Meeting with him or marrying him?” “I would think they’re hoping the first will lead to the second.”

“My position on what? Meeting with him or marrying him?” “I would think they’re hoping the first will lead to the second.”

“Is that you talking or the executive committee?” “Eighty percent executive committee.”

“Is that you talking or the executive committee?” “Eighty percent executive committee.”

“They want to preserve an existing potential alliance.” “An alliance with terrible people.” “Really nice people don’t usually accrue power.” “You’re saying I’m kind of an outlier,” Cardenia said. “I don’t recall saying you were nice,” Naffa replied.

“They want to preserve an existing potential alliance.” “An alliance with terrible people.” “Really nice people don’t usually accrue power.” “You’re saying I’m kind of an outlier,” Cardenia said. “I don’t recall saying you were nice,” Naffa replied.

“The difference is that you know it. If Rennered were here, he’d be just as clueless but more confident. Which is why he’d faceplant right out of the gate, just like I did, and my mother, and my grandfather. Perhaps you’ll break the family tradition.”

You’ll be emperox soon enough.” “And then no one can tell me what to do.” “Oh, no,” Batrin said. “Everyone will tell you what to do. But you won’t always have to listen.”

“You should be your own emperox, my daughter. No one else’s.”

“Your own name is for your private world. For friends and spouses and children and lovers. You’ll need that private name. Don’t give it away to the empire.”

“When I die, look her up. And then come talk to me about it.”

Kiva gave her starship captain a long look of you have to be fucking kidding me, pal and then, having received an I am so not fucking kidding you, you asshole look back from the captain, turned her attention back to Vanosh.

“Ma’am, at the moment, pretty much anything that moves is being shot at.” The lackey opened the passenger compartment door. “For that matter, anything that stays still for too long is shot at, too.”

It was overly plush in a manner that suggested that the residents had confused excess for elegance.

The family legend had it that Kiva Lagos’s very first word as an infant was “fuck,”

But she was here to kiss ass, so might as well get to the puckering early.

Tradition had its downsides.

Cardenia read over the declaration, its contents hallowed by time and consecrated by tradition, found the language ossified and musty, but was in no condition mentally to revise.

“Was this true?” “I am a search function. I do not have opinions on political matters.”

the parliament for the laws and justice; the guilds for trade and prosperity; the church for spirituality and community. And above them, the emperox, mother of all, for order.”

‘Oh, you have an opinion? Well, screw you, because my vote counts as two.’”

I have no ego to flatter, and will flatter yours only if ordered to. I would not suggest it. It makes me less useful.”

“I’m resident master. Saves on rent.” “A count’s son, worried about rent,” Vrenna said. “We are really unimpressive nobility, it’s true.”

and told him to tell no one but him about the work. Which Jamies did, mostly. First he told his wife,

“My children are my foremost advisors and I don’t keep secrets from them. You may speak to me in front of them with the same assurance of confidentiality as you would if we spoke alone.”

“So lovely to see you again.” “Is it?” Kiva said. “As far as you know, yes.”

“Anyone else? I mean, as long as you’re offering three million per.” “No. But I admire the flexibility of your moral grounding.”

“Yes, ma’am. The time frame on this?” “An hour ago would be great.” “Understood.”

symbolizing (in theory if not always in practice) the independence of the parliament from the emperox.

“Arise, Grayland II, Emperox of the Holy Empire of the Interdependent States and Mercantile Guilds, Queen of Hub and Associated Nations, Head of the Interdependent Church, Successor to Earth and Mother of All, Eighty-eighth Emperox of the House of Wu, and proclaim your reign,”

“I, Cardenia Wu-Patrick, having accepted these instruments of church and state, as is my right, become Grayland II, emperox, queen, head of church, successor to Earth, and mother to all. May the tenets of Interdependency, laid forth by the Prophet, bring continued peace and prosperity to all.”

I’m glad someone remembers I am still actually a human.” “Of course. Take your time as long as your time is under a minute.”

Not a lot to leave a world with,

Marce’s way of dealing with the fact he’d never see his father or sister or any of the people he’d ever known in his lifetime was to think about the practical issues of leaving the planet.

Marce swung the rucksack over his shoulder, took a last look at the apartment, and decided that he would not miss it at all.

“It’s not any of your business.” “I know you believe that. But you might be surprised at the scope of my business.”

This qualified as an absolute fucking tragedy, no pun intended,

“I’ll never see you again, which I figure is a tragedy.”

She looked at him and saw the unremarkable face and unremarkable body and behind both, the reportedly unremarkable mind happiest in the pursuit of unremarkable pleasures.

If I know nothing else, ma’am, I know that you are worth being loyal to.”

“You’re unbelievable.” “I worked in marketing,” Rachela I said. “Before I was a prophet. After, too, but we didn’t call it that after that point.”

“The answer to that is complicated.” “Give me the short version.” “The short version is ‘Yes, but.’ The slightly longer version is ‘No, and.’ Which version would you like?”

“If you’re short, come find me. I can lend.” “That’s very kind.” “No it’s not. It’s business. My interest rates are also extortionate.”

So you don’t listen to the story. You listen to the pattern.