Sorry Not Sorry: Dreams, Mistakes, and Growing Up

by Naya Rivera

“Oh yeah—then how come you never cast me for anything?” The whole room went silent, and everyone stared at me as if I’d just told Minnie Mouse to go eff herself.

Lea Michele kept threatening to call SAG about the unsafe working conditions. For once, Lea and I were in total agreement.

In showbiz they always say “the show must go on,” and that’s true, but with Glee, we barely got a moment to breathe at all. Filming “The Quarterback” episode was one of the hardest, most emotional things I’ve ever done. I understand that the episode was created from a place that meant well—it was supposed to be our way of paying tribute to and mourning Cory on-screen, but most of us hadn’t gotten a chance to go through that process yet offscreen.

I just miss his life, and I wish that he was here, experiencing in his own life the kind of things that I’m experiencing now in mine.

A few weeks later, we kissed for the first time on the night that Obama was elected.

I think everyone should have that one relationship where you look back and ask yourself, “What the hell was I thinking?” You’ll learn something and you won’t regret it. Unless, of course, that relationship was with someone who had a sizable stash of child porn on his computer. Then, by all means, regret everything.

I walk in, go downstairs, and guess what little girl is sitting cross-legged on the couch listening to music? C’mon, people, I’m not going to tell you, but you can guess because it’s not that hard! (It rhymes with “Smariana Schmande,” if you’re really having a hard time.)