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Smart is overrated. Most of the harm done in this world is done by people who fancy themselves smart. And they are—book smart. But most really smart people have no sense. They value their brains too highly. I’d rather have someone with sense. And a little heart.
And he was upset. Though hopefully not at her. But upset is a funny thing. It looks for places to direct itself. It’s an emotion given to action, and it needs somewhere to go.
“Let me ask you a question,” Calvin Bell said. “All right. I’ll answer it if I can.” “What the hell is wrong with people?” A pause as she allowed the enormity of the question to settle in. It matched so well with the enormous wondering that filled her own days. “Calvin, I’ll be damned if I know. And it’s not for lack of trying to figure it out, let me tell you. My personal theory? They’re scared. Crazy world full of a bunch of people who are scared out of their wits over everything and playing a bunch of stupid games to fool you into thinking they’re not. Maybe even to fool themselves. But, I
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“How do you figure? I mean, I know they were mad we were walking down the street together like regular friends. But it’s not like you told them to think that way.”
What did it mean to be friends in a world where just walking down the street together could get someone viciously beaten? In what ways could that friendship be expressed? Or even exist? Though inside Pete it was a thought with no words. More a clutch of fear.
He wanted to say, “You sure are in a good mood today.” But he thought it might be better left unsaid. A lot of things were, he’d found.
In that split second before he answered, she almost slid her hand inside his and held it. And the strangest aspect of that idea was the fact that it seemed quite natural.
So there was no shortage of bad times. But they came from the outside. From the inside we were strong.
“So you’re saying you don’t feed something in a situation where it would be a big disaster for it to grow.” “Exactly.”
She closed her eyes at the moment of contact. His skin was warm and clean. And fragrant. It smelled of a pleasing aftershave and the natural skin scent of a real living human man. It flitted through her mind without actual words that skin is an odd thing for the world to make a fuss about, especially when, with your eyes closed, it all feels more or less the same.
Justin nodded enthusiastically. “That sounds wonderful,” Calvin said. “I’ll walk you to the door.” Then she regretted the offer. She should have just said goodbye. Not drawn this out. She should have just left things right there. It’s the long goodbyes that get you every time.
wish I could explain the world to you,” she said. “I wish I could tell you why things like this happen when we all know they’re not supposed to. But the truth of the matter is, frankly . . . I don’t understand it myself.”
It struck her that she was going to have to find a new way to cover the animals’ extra expenses. She had no idea what that might be. And now she had at least one new mouth to feed. Allowing for the ravenous and often-present Pete, really more like two. And yet, both underneath and above those worries she felt a great lifting of pressure. The feeling could only be described as relief.
“He might not like it out there,” she said. “He might not be able to hunt as well as he did before the accident. And if that’s the case he knows where to find us. So just say goodbye for now.”
Though it was nothing he could have put into words, hospitals smelled like death to him, and wore a pall of grief and loss that seemed to penetrate his skin and infect him.
