History Is All You Left Me

by Adam Silvera

And for having the kind of laugh that I like hearing so much I would punch myself over and over if you found it funny.”

I have all this history with you, Theo, but he has pieces of your puzzle that would destroy me if I ever had to put them together, and yet I still want them.

But we all have mad love for Theo, and history is how we get to keep him.”

he broke me in a way everyone should be lucky to be cracked open at least once. I had the privilege of being destroyed by him until we found a better, real me inside of the person I was pretending to be. I hope I make him proud.”

This is the moment of the end. This is where we give up hope on reversing time, where we abandon f inding a cure to death, where we live in this Theo-less universe, where we say goodbye.

Shutting up and shutting down have always been what I do best during confrontation.

The world should stop lying to kids because they’re always brutally honest with us.

People are complicated puzzles, always trying to piece together a complete picture, but sometimes we get it wrong and sometimes we’re left unf inished. Sometimes that’s for the best. Some pieces can’t be forced into a puzzle, or at least they shouldn’t be, because they won’t make sense.

History is nothing. It can be recycled or thrown away completely. It isn’t this sacred treasure chest I mistook it to be. We were something, but history isn’t enough to keep something alive forever. You’re not the best friend and love of my life I’ve spent this past month mourning, and missing long before that. I don’t want to talk to you anymore.

Sometimes this universe feels like an alternate, but maybe you already knew that.