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Ohio he tolerated, even after our encounter with Potina, the Roman goddess of childhood drinks, who pursued us in the form of a giant red pitcher emblazoned with a smiley face.
All right…I got startled and dove for cover. Calypso hissed, “No, you idiot!” then followed me inside.
Whenever she hummed a tune I knew, I had the urge to sing harmony very loudly, which would have given away our position.
Was he buying them in bulk?
After all, a man giving up his Tots is a gesture of surrender in many cultures.
Calypso, undaunted, waved her arms and began to incant. Her tone made it sound as if she were raising the worst daimons from Tartarus, though her words, in ancient Phoenician, were actually a recipe for making pancakes.
I allowed myself to hope that the train station might be clear. HA-HA-HA. It was not.
I tried to think of a brilliant plan. Unfortunately, the only thing that came to mind was weeping in terror.
“Slap yourself,” Meg commanded. I slapped myself.
“Spheres?” Meg asked. “Yeah,” Leo said. “They’re these round things.” “Shut up.” Meg went back to inhaling carbohydrates.
“Commodus blames me for his death,” I said. “Why?” Meg asked. “Probably because I killed him.” “Ah.” Leo nodded sagely. “That would do it.”
Oh, for the simple pleasures of hiding from murderous Germani, crashing miniature trains, and serenading angry griffins!
“Nothing like a blazing-hot Leo to warm you up!”
I felt a bit silly giving this advice to a girl who regularly fought monsters with golden swords, but I had promised Bill Nye the Science Guy I would always promote safe laboratory practices.
“So you cannot confirm any kills.” Commodus glanced at me. “What would you advise, Apollo? Should I take time to reflect? Should I consider the consequences? Should I perhaps tell my prefect, Lityerses, not to worry? He will be fine? He will ALWAYS HAVE MY BLESSINGS?”
😢😢😢
as if the laws of gravity were mere recommendations.
“Save Apollo!” she yelled. My spirits soared. Yes, thank you! I wanted to yell. FINALLY someone has their priorities straight!
Next to me, Jimmy grunted. “I like these women,” he said. “They have ìgboyà.” I didn’t know what ìgboyà meant. I couldn’t even guess what language it was. But I liked the way Jimmy said it. I decided I would have to purchase some ìgboyà as soon as possible.
VERILY, THY LEVELS OF STUPID ASTOUND ME. “Have you ever wondered,” I asked, “why you have no friends?”
GOEST THOU DOWN THIS ROAD TO THE WEST. THOU SHALT SEEST A ROADSIDE STAND WHICH SELLETH FRESH EGGS. “Yes?” THIS ROADSIDE STAND IS NOT IMPORTANT. KEEP DRIVING.
I flashed on the name Monty Python. Was that correct? I didn’t think the monster and I had ever been on a first-name basis.
my favorite graduate accounting student, Olujime, stood like an ancient war god, swinging a bronze weapon that resembled a double-wide hockey stick.
Her eyes were fixed on Leo. She shook her head ever so slightly, perhaps telling him, Don’t be an idiot. (She told him that a lot.)
I became pure light.
“Hello, Grover Underwood.
AHHHHHHH
