Brain Damage

by Freida McFadden

“I’m letting Karen have a trial of visitation,” he explains. “She’s agreed to submit to random drug testing. If it goes okay, we can split custody.”

“Charly played softball in high school and college,” my mother speaks up. “She’s always been a really great athlete.” Although I can tell she seems a little surprised as well.

Angela raises her eyebrows. “Your husband? Are you still with him?” “Of course I’m still with him,” I say. Angela gives me a pointed look. “He hasn’t been by here once the whole time I’ve known you.”

“My husband,” I say when Angela is silent. Jamie’s eyes widen. “Your husband? But I thought that you and I…” His voice trails off. “I mean, I didn’t even think you were with him anymore.”

“I never said I wasn’t with him.” “Then why doesn’t he visit you?” Jamie asks, the volume of his voice now several notches higher. “He hasn’t been here once, has he?”

“He does visit me,” I say, even though it’s not really true. “You just haven’t seen him.” Jamie frowns, but he doesn’t say anything else. I don’t know why he cares anyway. Jamie and Angela are both going to walk out of here. I won’t. They really shouldn’t be judging me.

“Well,” she says, “the only thing we have time for is to do a transfer, considering you’re forty-five minutes late to our session.” I feel my cheeks get hot. “I am?” “Not you,” Valerie says. She’s looking at Clark.

I look over at Clark, who suddenly seems very pale under his tan. Actually, he is not so much pale as slightly green. “Charlotte,” he gasps. “Your head… I didn’t realize that it looked…”

I see a few beads of sweat break out on his forehead. Then he whirls around and races in the direction of my bathroom. I hear him retching.

This is insane

Clark emerges from the bathroom a minute later, walking slightly unsteadily. He won’t even look at me. Somehow I think of when I showed Jamie my skull. He didn’t seem fazed at all. But then again, his own head was covered in staples.

He doesn’t even seem to want to touch me unless he has to. I watch my husband race out of the room as fast as he can go.

Clark is supposed to come the next morning at eight a.m., and this time he’s only ten minutes late.

Clark, who has apparently been playing Angry Birds on his phone this whole time or I don’t know what, gasps, “She’s wearing a diaper?”

Are you a idiot????? Who says that

“Sure,” Valerie replied. “I mean, why bother ever changing her clothes at all? It’s not like she’s going anywhere important.” “Exactly,” Clark says.

Wtff asshole

“Unfortunately,” Natalie says, “her insurance will only pay for a wheelchair or a walker, not both. So we’ll get the wheelchair paid for, and you’ll have to pay for the walker out of pocket.“ Clark frowns. “Why do we have to buy a walker at all?”

Pls don't piss me off rn

But this is the twenty-first century and I first start to suspect Clark of cheating because of a text message.

for. I picked up his iPhone, still attached to the charger, and saw the message on the screen: Is she gone yet? There was no name attached to the number. And no further messages aside from that one.

“Okay, Charly,” she says, “I’m going to tell you exactly what to do…”

Spinelli nods grimly. “I’m afraid you were right to be suspicious, Mrs. Douglas,” he says. Crap.

“Oh yes,” Spinelli says with maddening confidence. “I’ve confirmed that your husband is definitely in some sort of romantic relationship with a Miss Haley Matthews.”

It’s Clark with another woman. He’s standing very close to her and his hand is on her back. The photo is blurry, but I can tell that the woman is probably ten years younger than I am,

I just can’t wait to get out of here so I can go take everything Clark owns out of my apartment and burn it.

He’s late. I had no idea that he got home so late every night.

It makes so much sense how he was able to get away with cheating on me. I’m never home. I’m at work, or am running, or I’m out with friends. He could get away with anything right under my nose. And I guess he did.

“Charlotte,” he says, a slight tremor in his voice. “Why do you have the gun out?”

There’s a voice in my head screaming not to put the gun away, to hold it tight in my hand and not let it go.

I can make out the image of my husband, sitting in the corner of the room, talking on his cell phone. “Yeah, she’s still asleep,” Clark is saying into his phone. “That’s half of all she does now. Sleep.”

“Look,” he says, sounding a little bit angry. “You’re not the one in debt. This is a lot of money we’re talking about. What do you want me to do? Go back to scraping around for wills or divorces just to pay the bills?”

I knew it

But it’s the best option right now… anyway, I should go. She’ll probably wake up soon.” Then he adds, “I love you.”

Clark gives me this pitying look that makes my stomach turn. “In public, I’ll pretend. I know that’s really important to you. I’ll act like we’re just a normal couple. Like I’m still really devoted to you since you got hurt.”

This is really ridiculous

another man…?” Clark laughs. “Are you serious?” My cheeks start to feel hot. “What does that mean?” “Charlotte,” he says, shaking his head. “I know you don’t have a lot of insight into your situation. I mean, that’s what the therapists say. But I think it’s better for you to realize that you’re not in any position to be in a relationship with a man.

“There’s plenty of room for that in the spare bedroom,” Clark says. “And I’m going to need more room because both Haley and I will be staying there.”

Angela shakes her head in disgust. “I’m still not entirely sure that the husband is innocent.”

“That’s a big diamond,” Dr. Vincent comments. “Eh, Helga?” Helga drops my hand down on the table, a troubled look on her face. “Yes…” “What’s wrong?” I ask. Helga sighs loudly. “You know I used to be a jeweler, and I am sorry to say this to you, Charly, but this is not a diamond at all. It is what they call cubic zirconium. Fake diamond.”

DAYYYUUMMMMM

Amy squints at the lesion herself. “Dr. Vincent, we can make you an appointment with a local dermatologist if you’d like.” He nods. “Yes. Yes, of course.”

Finally, Amy shakes her head at me. “I don’t get it, Charly. You can diagnose skin cancer, but you can’t get through one stinking round of Taboo?”

Ever since Clark entered the picture, Jamie has stopped having meals with me in the hallway. The truth is, he’s nearly stopped talking to me entirely. When we sit together in Walking Group, he barely looks at me.

Jamie looks at me in surprise, as if he didn’t expect me to talk to him. He nods a bit warily. “Yeah,” he says. “He came to visit me.” “He recognized me,” I say. I still feel pleased about that. “Of course he did,” Jamie says. “He really likes you.”

“So I’m supposed to be walking.” “Charlotte,” Clark says irritably, “we’ve already been through this. You’re not going to be walking at all when we get home, so this is all completely pointless. Why don’t we work on the important stuff?”

He is seriously pissing me off... Do you know the importance of physical therapy

For a moment, Jamie’s eyes meet mine. I know what he’s thinking. He’s heard every word that Clark has said to me, and that’s why he’s so angry.

As I predicted, Clark won’t stop fuming about what happened in the gym today. Even as Valerie is teaching him how to bathe me, he is noticeably sulking. And he’s definitely angry with me.

“Before this happened to you, you filled out all this paperwork to give your mother power of attorney,” he says. He’s started pacing again. “But I’m your husband. I’m taking care of you. I should be managing all our finances.”

Fuck noooo

That sick feeling stays in my stomach. I don’t want Clark to be in charge of my finances. I don’t want his girlfriend living in my house, sleeping in my bed. I don’t want any of this.

Side note but why was Bridget not visit

“I understand why you want to be with your husband. He has a lot more to offer you than I can.”

“But you need to know,” he says in a voice that’s almost a whisper, “that I think you’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met.”

“We’re not going to focus on that anymore,” Natalie says firmly. “I talked to your husband about it, and he definitely makes some good points. You’re mostly going to be using the wheelchair when you get home, so you need to be able to control it better.

I’ve never ever managed to do that before. I feel ridiculously proud of myself. “I did it!” I say. Natalie is looking at me with a strange expression on her face.

“No,” Natalie says, “you didn’t hit anything.” I just look at her. “Charly,” she says. “Do you realize that you were using your left hand to help wheel the chair?” I look down at the left wheel of my chair and I see a hand on it. My hand.

but more than that, I think he’s trying to get me away from Jamie.

“I just have to get a nicer set of frames,” I say. “Who cares?” Clark says. “It doesn’t bother me.”

Wtf so rude