A Conjuring of Light (Shades of Magic, #3)

by V.E. Schwab

Emira Maresh, who saw the cracks in beautiful things, and moved through life afraid of making more.

His fingers curled in the sheets, his sleep growing shallow, restless. A word escaped his lips, little more than an exhale, but she recognized the sound and shape of Kell’s name, before, at last, her son woke up.

“Kell isn’t the only one you fail to understand. My bond with him didn’t start with this curse. You wanted him to kill for me, die for me, protect me at all costs. Well, Mother, you got your wish. You simply failed to realize that that kind of love, that bond, it goes both ways. I would kill for him, and I would die for him, and I will protect him however I am able, from Faro and Vesk, from White London, and Black London, and from you.”

Screaming sobbing breaking things

“There’s no ‘they’ anymore, Master Kell. Magic gave so much to Man, and Man so much to Magic, that their edges blurred, and their threads all tangled, and now they can’t be pulled apart. They’re bound together, you see, life to life. Halves of a whole. If anyone tried to part them, they’d both unravel.”

Anisa curled in toward him, then, the way she used to when he told her tales. A flower to the sun, that’s what their mother used to say. Their mother, who’d died so long ago, and taken most of the light with her. Only Anisa held a candle to it. Only Anisa had her eyes, her warmth. Only Anisa reminded Alucard of kinder days.

“Do you want to know the truth?” Rhy hesitated. “If it will help you to say it.”

Too many people to care about, and once again, she didn’t know whether to stay or to run—but the choice would have to wait, because this city was dying and she wanted to save it. And maybe that was a sign she’d already chosen. For now.

Progress lol

“I will not let them think the Maresh have abandoned them. I will not hide within a warded palace when I can walk without fear through those streets. When I can remind our people that they are not alone, that I am fighting with them, for them. When I may be struck down but rise again and in so doing show them the immortality of hope. That is what I can do for my city, and I will gladly do it.

Something in Rhy loosened. Because of all the people in his life, his brother and his parents and his guards and even Alucard Emery, Lila was the first—the only—person to treat him like he didn’t need saving.

“That spoiled prince is searching the streets for men like you. He’s hunting for the living and burying the dead and doing everything he can to keep one from becoming the other, so you can either help or disappear, but either way, get out.”

Okay she ate him up

Because caring was a thing with claws. It sank them in, and didn’t let go. Caring hurt more than a knife to the leg, more than a few broken ribs, more than anything that bled or broke and healed again. Caring didn’t break you clean. It was a bone that didn’t set, a cut that wouldn’t close.

“Death comes for us all,” said Holland evenly. “I would simply have mine mean something.”

What the HELL is up with this guy

“What are we drinking to?” “The living,” said Rhy. “The dead,” said Alucard and Lila at the same time. “We’re being thorough,” added Rhy.

“It must be maddening,” said Alucard, “to know I have a power you don’t.” Kell’s teeth clicked together, but when he spoke, he kept his voice civil, smooth. “Believe it or not, I relish our smallest differences. Besides, I may not be able to see the world the way you do, but I can still recognize an asshole.”

Im cracking up kell hating alucard so much is SO good to me

He’d never seen it before, and he frowned, confused by that second initial. He’d never considered himself a Maresh. Rhy’s brother, yes, and once upon a time, their adopted son, but never this. Never family.

Ouch

Cora, it seemed, had a mind like a gem, sharp and bright, and buried beneath childish airs. He knew why she did it—it was the same reason he played a rake as much as a royal. It was easier, sometimes, to be underestimated, discounted, dismissed.

Her heart was racing, banging out that same old song—run, run, run—but she was tired of running, of letting things go before she had the chance to lose them. She pulled Kell closer.

Good!

“Do you ever get tired of running, Bard?” She cocked her head. “No.” Alucard’s gaze went to the horizon. “Then you haven’t left enough behind.”

“Love and loss,” he said, “are like a ship and the sea. They rise together. The more we love, the more we have to lose. But the only way to avoid loss is to avoid love. And what a sad world that would be.”

And then his arms were folding around her, and in that small gesture, she understood, felt it down to her bones, that draw, not the electric pulse of power but the thing beneath it, the weight she’d never understood. In a world where everything rocked and swayed and fell away, this was solid ground. Safe.

Okay this got me a leetle

Her heart was beating hard against her ribs, some primal part of her saying run, and she was running, just not away. She was tired of running away. So she was running into Kell. And he caught her.

He dropped a ring into Kell’s hand. Kell frowned. “I’m flattered, but I think you’re asking the wrong brother.”

HA

But Rhy did walk among them, because he was their prince, and because he could not sleep, and because he knew what it was like to be held by a spell, to be dragged into darkness, to be bound to something and yet feel utterly alone.

Rhy Maresh, young royal, flirtatious rake, resurrected prince. The boy always looking for places to hide, who moved through his own life as if it were a piece of theatre. His brother, who had once accepted a cursed amulet because it promised strength. His brother, who now carved apologies into his skin and held his hands over candle flames to feel alive. His brother was king.

Tattoo this on the inside of my eyelids

I have lost my mother, and my father. I have lost friends, and strangers who might one day have been friends. I have lost too many of my people to count. And I will not suffer losing you.”

It was the strangest thing, but Rhy seemed to become real then, solid in a way he hadn’t been before.

“But do us a favor, Kell.” “What’s that?” asked his brother. “Don’t get yourself killed.” “I’ll do my best,” said Kell, and then he was going. “And come back,” added Rhy. Kell paused. “Don’t worry,” he said. “I will. Once I’ve seen it.” “Seen what?” asked Rhy. Kell smiled. “Everything.”