Mixed Nuts: or What I've Learned Practicing Psychotherapy

by Rick Cormier

I have a theory that has served me well: 10% of all the people you'll meet will like you, no matter what. Another 10% will hate you, no matter what. The other 80% has no feelings about you either way. They don't know you exist and don't care. You don't believe me? Think about the last ten people you encountered, whether they were cashiers, waiters, or just shared a waiting room with you. How many of the last ten can you remember? How many made an impact? 10% is PLENTY. Those 10% are your “peeps”, your tribe. You can be yourself with them. They are attracted to you exactly the way you are. They are people whose souls just resonate with yours. Who knows why? They don't ask you to prove anything. They like you despite your differing opinions. They like you despite your bad choices. They like you despite your failures. They are happy for your every success, in contrast to that 10% who can't stand you, who dislike you even more with each success. We'll never win over that 90%. Why waste the energy? Why try to change yourself to please them? Better to deal with them with a polite detachment and spend your emotional energy on your 10%.