It Didn't Start with You: How Inherited Family Trauma Shapes Who We Are and How to End the Cycle

by Mark Wolynn

You experienced an interruption in the early bond with your mother. With this dynamic, it is likely that you experience some degree of anxiety when you attempt to bond with a partner in an intimate relationship. Often the anxiety increases as the relationship deepens. Unaware that the anxiety stems from a break in the early bond, you might begin to find fault with your partner or create other conflicts that allow you to distance yourself from the closeness. You might also experience yourself as feeling needy, clingy, jealous, or insecure. Or conversely, you appear independent and don’t ask for much in your relationships. Perhaps you avoid relationships altogether.