Aberration in the Heartland of the Real: The Secret Lives of Timothy McVeigh

by Wendy S. Painting

Acting largely autonomously and separated from friends and family, they live a particularly lonely existence and are particularly prone to developing deep attachments to their targets. They may come to identify with targeted individuals and groups and question the utility of certain laws, the purpose and rightness of their assignment, and their own involvement in it. It then becomes justifiable to engage in criminal activity beyond what is necessary to maintain their cover or achieve their objective. Insufficient guidance, instruction and encouragement from handlers and low pay versus the risks they are expected to take, leads to further resentment, disillusionment, alienation and feelings of sympathy towards their targets. They may become indoctrinated into the very group they are investigating, especially when their mission involves prolonged exposure to “’subversive’ environments” such as those encountered in investigations of suspected terrorist organizations or cells. Even when they are given leave from the operation (briefly or permanently), undercover operators have a difficult time settling back into their former identity and, for varying lengths of time, “retain the undercover lifestyle in terms of hairstyle, language, demeanor” and continue to enact the “mannerisms and