Stuck-Up Suit

by Vi Keeland

“Come again?” “It’s clinical.” “Yes, that makes me feel better about you swabbing a man’s cock. I’m sure Delia has her M.D.” “Relax. It’s no big deal.” “Yes. You’re right.” “I am?” “Sure.” I partially covered the phone and yelled to my secretary, who wasn’t in today. “Elizabeth? Can you come in here a minute?” “Elizabeth? Is that your new secretary?” “Yes. I’m going to wash her tits.”

“How is your grandmother?” “She told Cambria to let me know she was cutting me out of her will if I didn’t break her out of the hospital.”

“No.” “What do you mean, no?” “It’s the opposite of yes. Perhaps you should have tried saying it four years ago when my best friend told you to spread your legs.”

clothes and held them out to me when I finished. “Here. Wear this. Your tits bulge out of the top of that shirt. That’ll go a long way toward making it right again.” I smiled as I slipped on my pants. “These tits are how it all started, ya know.” “And that feather on your foot. I get credit for some of this, too, since it was my husband who inked you with the identifying mark that helped Mr. Big Prick solve the Soraya puzzle.”