A Buddhist Grief Observed

by Guy Newland

Grief is the process of adjusting to unwanted change, and since change is unrelenting, we bear every day unrecognized microgriefs.

And we already have some impressive records of harrowing grief. It is commonplace, all around us, every day; we each have our turn in horror.

This book is about that isolating sense of specialness. It is about awakening from the delusion that our pain is a private prison.

Here I write as a human passed well beyond the middle of the road of life. This is a personal account, an artifact of a painful time. My hope is that when you are in anguish, you will know that you are not alone. And when you meet those in anguish, you will help them to know that they are not alone.

On the other hand, it is only from a basis of secure care that we become able to reach out to others. The love I give the world has roots in times when I learned that I am loveable.

She was not a Buddhist; I am. But we are all apprenticed to the same master — reality.

Knowing that you are held in another’s loving heart: this is what gives you the chance to become a whole person. We have the opportunity to become agents who intentionally observe, reflect upon, and modify our own thoughts and feelings.