Direct listening starts from the premise that if your partner wants something, she will ask for it. You need to resist the impulse to infer a judgment, desire or need that's not explicitly stated. You assume that if your partner does not bring up an issue, she has no issue, and is not just being polite. Conversely, if she brings up an issue, she's not doing it to be confrontational or impolite, but to discuss it. You do not look for veiled intent, particularly veiled criticism, especially when talking about emotional or contentious matters.
