Non-monogamous relationships clearly highlight the gap between our perception of our power and the reality of our power. It is often easier to see someone else's power than to see our own. If our partner begins a new relationship, we might see how he invests in the new relationship, and we feel powerless—without recognizing how the established structures, history, commitments and shared life experiences in our own relationship give us a tremendous amount of power that the newer partner doesn't have. The new partner, however, is often keenly aware of the power the existing partner has.
