More Than Two: A Practical Guide to Ethical Polyamory (More Than Two Essentials)

by Franklin Veaux

From the perspective of a monogamous person, polyamory may look like a license to behave indiscriminately. It can be difficult to shake the notion that commitment and exclusivity are the same thing. This can lead to thoughts that a polyamorous person can't or won't commit, and therefore must be unreliable or wildly promiscuous. Nor is polyamory (necessarily) about a need for sexual variety. Franklin once had a discussion with a monogamous person who asked, "If my partner is polyamorous, can't he be satisfied if we role-play different characters in bed?" Polyamory might look like a need for sexual variety, but a better way to think about it is in terms of openness to deep personal connection, not too different from the way most people are open to making new friends.