That's all well and good when both start the relationship understanding who the other is. It's harder when they both planned on a monogamous relationship and then one of them realizes his or her true poly nature or beliefs. In this case, giving up monogamy is a scarier step. The monogamous person may feel deep loss: the relationship doesn't look the way he wants or the way other relationships look. It can feel like the polyamorous person is always getting what she wants—other lovers, other intimate companions. The monogamous person can feel like he's losing time, attention and focus—and
...more
