With poly relationships, it’s tempting to plan out how you want your life to look and then search for people who fit the plan. But unlike seeds, people don’t come from a store neatly labeled. You can’t look at a person and predict what a relationship will grow into; relationships have a tricky way of zigging when you expect them to zag. Sure, it’s important to communicate what you want in your relationships up front—but it’s also important to remember you’re not ordering a relationship from a catalog. Leave space for them to grow, and don’t freak out if they grow in ways you didn’t expect.
