Step 1. Accept the feelings. You can't deal with jealousy by wishing it away or by shaming yourself. Our emotions are what they are, and telling yourself "I shouldn't feel this!" won't work. When you look around at the polyamorous community, it can be easy to convince yourself that everyone else has conquered their jealousy, and you're not a good poly person if you still feel it. That absolutely isn't true. Very few people say they've never felt it, and frankly, we suspect that just means they haven't felt it yet.
