Henry IV, Part 2 (Folger Shakespeare Library)
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Enter Rumor, painted full of tongues.
Don Gagnon
⟨INDUCTION⟩ Enter Rumor, painted full of tongues. < RUMOR > Open your ears, for which of you will stop 1 The vent of hearing when loud Rumor speaks? 2 I, from the orient to the drooping west, 3 Making the wind my post-horse, still unfold 4 The acts commencèd on this ball of earth. 5 Upon my tongues continual slanders ride, 6 The which in every language I pronounce, 7 Stuffing the ears of men with false reports. 8 I speak of peace while covert enmity 9 Under the smile of safety wounds the world. 10 And who but Rumor, who but only I, 11 Make fearful musters and prepared defense 12 Whiles the big year, swoll’n with some other grief, 13 Is thought with child by the stern tyrant war, 14 And no such matter? Rumor is a pipe 15 Blown by surmises, jealousies, conjectures, 16 And of so easy and so plain a stop 17 That the blunt monster with uncounted heads, 18 The still-discordant wav’ring multitude, 19 Can play upon it. But what need I thus 20 My well-known body to anatomize 21 Among my household? Why is Rumor here? 22 I run before King Harry’s victory, 23 Who in a bloody field by Shrewsbury 24 Hath beaten down young Hotspur and his troops, 25 Quenching the flame of bold rebellion 26 Even with the rebels’ blood. But what mean I 27 To speak so true at first? My office is 28 To noise abroad that Harry Monmouth fell 29 Under the wrath of noble Hotspur’s sword, 30 And that the King before the Douglas’ rage 31 Stooped his anointed head as low as death. 32 This have I rumored through the peasant towns 33 Between that royal field of Shrewsbury 34 And this worm-eaten < hold > of ragged stone, 35 ⟨Where⟩ Hotspur’s father, old Northumberland, 36 Lies crafty-sick. The posts come tiring on, 37 And not a man of them brings other news 38 Than they have learnt of me. From Rumor’s 39 tongues 40 They bring smooth comforts false, worse than 41 true wrongs. 42 < Rumor > exits.
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Open your ears, for which of you will stop 1 The vent of hearing when loud Rumor speaks?
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Upon my tongues continual slanders ride, 6 The which in every language I pronounce, 7 Stuffing the ears of men with false reports.
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I speak of peace while covert enmity 9 Under the smile of safety wounds the world.
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Rumor is a pipe 15 Blown by surmises, jealousies, conjectures, 16 And of so easy and so plain a stop 17 That the blunt monster with uncounted heads, 18 The still-discordant wav’ring multitude, 19 Can play upon it.
Don Gagnon
⟨INDUCTION⟩ Enter Rumor, painted full of tongues. < RUMOR > . . . Rumor is a pipe 15 Blown by surmises, jealousies, conjectures, 16 And of so easy and so plain a stop 17 That the blunt monster with uncounted heads, 18 The still-discordant wav’ring multitude, 19 Can play upon it.
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From Rumor’s 39 tongues 40 They bring smooth comforts false, worse than 41 true wrongs.
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Who keeps the gate here, ho?
Don Gagnon
⟨ACT 1⟩ ⟨Scene < 1 >⟩ Enter the Lord Bardolph at one door. LORD BARDOLPH Who keeps the gate here, ho? 1
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See what a ready tongue suspicion hath!
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In few, his death, whose spirit lent a fire 125 Even to the dullest peasant in his camp, 126 Being bruited once, took fire and heat away 127 From the best-tempered courage in his troops; 128 For from his mettle was his party steeled, 129 Which, once in him abated, all the rest 130 Turned on themselves, like dull and heavy lead.
Don Gagnon
MORTON, < to Northumberland > I am sorry I should force you to believe 118 That which I would to God I had not seen, 119 But these mine eyes saw him in bloody state, 120 Rend’ring faint quittance, wearied and outbreathed, 121 To Harry Monmouth, whose swift wrath beat down 122 The never-daunted Percy to the earth, 123 From whence with life he never more sprung up. 124 In few, his death, whose spirit lent a fire 125 Even to the dullest peasant in his camp, 126 Being bruited once, took fire and heat away 127 From the best-tempered courage in his troops; 128 For from his mettle was his party steeled, 129 Which, once in him abated, all the rest 130 Turned on themselves, like dull and heavy lead. 131
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I am not 9 only witty in myself, but the cause that wit is in 10 other men.
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Where’s Bardolph? 50 PAGE  He’s gone in Smithfield to buy your Worship a 51 horse. 52 FALSTAFF  I bought him in Paul’s, and he’ll buy me a 53 horse in Smithfield. An I could get me but a wife in 54 the stews, I were manned, horsed, and wived.
Don Gagnon
FALSTAFF . . . Where’s Bardolph? 50 PAGE He’s gone in Smithfield to buy your Worship a 51 horse. 52 FALSTAFF I bought him in Paul’s, and he’ll buy me a 53 horse in Smithfield. An I could get me but a wife in 54 the stews, I were manned, horsed, and wived. 55
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CHIEF JUSTICE  You have misled the youthful prince. 147 FALSTAFF  The young prince hath misled me. I am the 148 fellow with the great belly, and he my dog. 149
Don Gagnon
CHIEF JUSTICE You have misled the youthful prince. 147 FALSTAFF The young prince hath misled me. I am the 148 fellow with the great belly, and he my dog. 149
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Wake not 156 a sleeping wolf.
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you are as a candle, the better 159 part burnt out.
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Do you set down your name in the scroll 181 of youth, that are written down old with all the 182 characters of age?
Don Gagnon
CHIEF JUSTICE Do you set down your name in the scroll 181 of youth, that are written down old with all the 182 characters of age? Have you not a moist eye, a dry 183 hand, a yellow cheek, a white beard, a decreasing 184 leg, an increasing belly? Is not your voice broken, 185 your wind short, your chin double, your wit single, 186 and every part about you blasted with antiquity? 187 And will you yet call yourself young? Fie, fie, fie, Sir 188 John. 189
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A 234 man can no more separate age and covetousness 235 than he can part young limbs and lechery; but the 236 gout galls the one, and the pox pinches the other, 237 and so both the degrees prevent my curses.—
Don Gagnon
< Lord Chief Justice and his Servant exit. > FALSTAFF If I do, fillip me with a three-man beetle. A 234 man can no more separate age and covetousness 235 than he can part young limbs and lechery; but the 236 gout galls the one, and the pox pinches the other, 237 and so both the degrees prevent my curses.—Boy! 238
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Much more in this great work, 50 Which is almost to pluck a kingdom down 51 And set another up, should we survey 52 The plot of situation and the model, 53 Consent upon a sure foundation, 54 Question surveyors, know our own estate, 55 How able such a work to undergo, 56 To weigh against his opposite.
Don Gagnon
LORD BARDOLPH . . . Much more in this great work, 50 Which is almost to pluck a kingdom down 51 And set another up, should we survey 52 The plot of situation and the model, 53 Consent upon a sure foundation, 54 Question surveyors, know our own estate, 55 How able such a work to undergo, 56 To weigh against his opposite.
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The commonwealth is sick of their own choice. 91 Their over-greedy love hath surfeited. 92 An habitation giddy and unsure 93 Hath he that buildeth on the vulgar heart.
Don Gagnon
⟨ARCHBISHOP Let us on, 89 And publish the occasion of our arms. 90 The commonwealth is sick of their own choice. 91 Their over-greedy love hath surfeited. 92 An habitation giddy and unsure 93 Hath he that buildeth on the vulgar heart. 94 O thou fond many, with what loud applause 95 Didst thou beat heaven with blessing Bolingbroke 96 Before he was what thou wouldst have him be. 97
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So, so, thou common dog, didst thou disgorge 101 Thy glutton bosom of the royal Richard, 102 And now thou wouldst eat thy dead vomit up 103 And howl’st to find it.
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O thoughts of men accursed!
Don Gagnon
ARCHBISHOP . . . O thoughts of men accursed! 112 Past and to come seems best; things present, 113 worst.⟩
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Past and to come seems best; things present, 113 worst.⟩
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We are time’s subjects, and time bids begone.
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Good Master 23 Fang, hold him sure. Good Master Snare, let him 24 not ’scape.
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Away, you scullion, you rampallian, you fustil- 60 arian! I’ll tickle your catastrophe.
Don Gagnon
PAGE Away, you scullion, you rampallian, you fustil- 60 arian! I’ll tickle your catastrophe. 61 Footnotes 60. scullion: menial servant (an abusive epithet); rampallian: scoundrel 60–61. fustilarian: perhaps a comic form of “fustilugs,” a fat frowsy woman 61. tickle your catastrophe: i.e., beat your behind
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You speak as having power to do wrong; 135 but answer in th’ effect of your reputation, and 136 satisfy the poor woman.
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Let the end try the man.
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It would be every man’s thought, and thou art 53 a blessed fellow to think as every man thinks.
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I will imitate the honorable Romans in 121 brevity.
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What the devil hast thou brought there— 1 applejohns?
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A good heart’s worth 31 gold.
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Grant that, my poor virtue, 47 grant that.
Don Gagnon
FALSTAFF If the cook help to make the gluttony, you 45 help to make the diseases, Doll. We catch of you, 46 Doll, we catch of you. Grant that, my poor virtue, 47 grant that. 48
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Hang him, swaggering rascal!
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If he swagger, let him not come here.
Don Gagnon
HOSTESS If he swagger, let him not come here. No, by 74 my faith, I must live among my neighbors. I’ll no 75 swaggerers. I am in good name and fame with the 76 very best. Shut the door. There comes no swagger- 77 ers here. I have not lived all this while to have 78 swaggering now. Shut the door, I pray you. 79
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I’ll see her damned first to Pluto’s damnèd 158 lake, by this hand, to th’ infernal deep with Erebus 159 and tortures vile also.
Don Gagnon
PISTOL I’ll see her damned first to Pluto’s damnèd 158 lake, by this hand, to th’ infernal deep with Erebus 159 and tortures vile also. Hold hook and line, say I. 160 Down, down, dogs! Down, ⟨Fates!⟩ Have we not 161 Hiren here? 162 < He draws his sword. > HOSTESS Good Captain Peesell, be quiet. ’Tis very late, 163 i’ faith. I beseek you now, aggravate your choler. 164 PISTOL These be good humors indeed. Shall pack- 165 horses and hollow pampered jades of Asia, which 166 cannot go but thirty mile a day, compare with 167 Caesars and with cannibals and Troyant Greeks? 168 Nay, rather damn them with King Cerberus, and let 169 the welkin roar. Shall we fall foul for toys? 170 HOSTESS By my troth, captain, these are very bitter 171 words. 172 BARDOLPH Begone, good ancient. This will grow to a 173 brawl anon. 174
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⟨Die⟩ men like dogs! Give crowns like pins! Have 175 we not Hiren here?
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Alas, alas, put up your 208 naked weapons, put up your naked weapons.
Don Gagnon
PISTOL, < taking up his sword > What, shall we have 197 incision? Shall we imbrue? Then death rock me 198 asleep, abridge my doleful days. Why then, let 199 grievous, ghastly, gaping wounds untwind the Sis- 200 ters Three. Come, Atropos, I say. 201 HOSTESS Here’s goodly stuff toward! 202 FALSTAFF Give me my rapier, boy. 203 DOLL I pray thee, Jack, I pray thee do not draw. 204 FALSTAFF, < to Pistol > Get you downstairs. 205 < They fight. > HOSTESS Here’s a goodly tumult. I’ll forswear keeping 206 house afore I’ll be in these tirrits and frights. So, 207 murder, I warrant now. Alas, alas, put up your 208 naked weapons, put up your naked weapons. 209 < Bardolph and Pistol exit. > DOLL I pray thee, Jack, be quiet. The rascal’s gone. Ah, 210 you whoreson little valiant villain, you. 211
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Thou whoreson little tidy Bartholomew boar-pig, 233 when wilt thou leave fighting a-days and foining a- 234 nights and begin to patch up thine old body for 235 heaven?
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The fiend hath pricked down Bardolph ir- 338 recoverable, and his face is Lucifer’s privy kitchen, 339 where he doth nothing but roast malt-worms.
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Pay the musicians, sirrah.— 382 Farewell, hostess.—Farewell, Doll. You see, my 383 good wenches, how men of merit are sought after. 384 The undeserver may sleep when the man of action 385 is called on.
Don Gagnon
BARDOLPH You must away to court, sir, presently. 380 A dozen captains stay at door for you. 381 FALSTAFF, < to Page > Pay the musicians, sirrah.—382 Farewell, hostess.—Farewell, Doll. You see, my 383 good wenches, how men of merit are sought after. 384 The undeserver may sleep when the man of action 385 is called on. Farewell, good wenches. If I be not sent 386 away post, I will see you again ere I go. 387
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O sleep, O gentle sleep, 5 Nature’s soft nurse, how have I frighted thee, 6 That thou no more wilt weigh my eyelids down 7 And steep my senses in forgetfulness?
Don Gagnon
⟨ACT 3⟩ ⟨Scene 1⟩ Enter the King in his nightgown ⟨with a Page⟩. KING Go call the Earls of Surrey and of Warwick; 1 But, ere they come, bid them o’erread these letters 2 And well consider of them. Make good speed. 3 < Page > ⟨exits.⟩ How many thousand of my poorest subjects 4 Are at this hour asleep! O sleep, O gentle sleep, 5 Nature’s soft nurse, how have I frighted thee, 6 That thou no more wilt weigh my eyelids down 7 And steep my senses in forgetfulness? 8 Why rather, sleep, liest thou in smoky cribs, 9 Upon uneasy pallets stretching thee, 10 And hushed with buzzing night-flies to thy slumber, 11 Than in the perfumed chambers of the great, 12 Under the canopies of costly state, 13 And lulled with sound of sweetest melody? 14 O thou dull god, why liest thou with the vile 15 In loathsome beds and leavest the kingly couch 16 A watch-case or a common ’larum bell? 17 Wilt thou upon the high and giddy ⟨mast⟩ 18 Seal up the shipboy’s eyes and rock his brains 19 In cradle of the rude imperious surge 20 And in the visitation of the winds, 21 Who take the ruffian ⟨billows⟩ by the top, 22 Curling their monstrous heads and hanging them 23 With deafing clamor in the slippery clouds 24 That with the hurly death itself awakes? 25 Canst thou, O partial sleep, give ⟨thy⟩ repose 26 To the wet ⟨sea-boy⟩ in an hour so rude, 27 And, in the calmest and most stillest night, 28 With all appliances and means to boot, 29 Deny it to a king? Then, happy low, lie down. 30 Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown. 31 Enter Warwick, Surrey and Sir John Blunt.
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O thou dull god, why liest thou with the vile 15 In loathsome beds and leavest the kingly couch 16 A watch-case or a common ’larum bell?
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Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown.
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O God, that one might read the book of fate 45 And see the revolution of the times 46 Make mountains level, and the continent, 47 Weary of solid firmness, melt itself 48 Into the sea, and other times to see 49 The beachy girdle of the ocean 50 Too wide for Neptune’s hips; how chance’s mocks 51 And changes fill the cup of alteration 52 With divers liquors!
Don Gagnon
KING O God, that one might read the book of fate 45 And see the revolution of the times 46 Make mountains level, and the continent, 47 Weary of solid firmness, melt itself 48 Into the sea, and other times to see 49 The beachy girdle of the ocean 50 Too wide for Neptune’s hips; how chance’s mocks 51 And changes fill the cup of alteration 52 With divers liquors! . . .
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“Northumberland, thou ladder by the which 71 My cousin Bolingbroke ascends my throne”—
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There is a history in all men’s lives 81 Figuring the natures of the times deceased, 82 The which observed, a man may prophesy, 83 With a near aim, of the main chance of things 84 As yet not come to life, who in their seeds 85 And weak beginning lie intreasurèd.
Don Gagnon
WARWICK There is a history in all men’s lives 81 Figuring the natures of the times deceased, 82 The which observed, a man may prophesy, 83 With a near aim, of the main chance of things 84 As yet not come to life, who in their seeds 85 And weak beginning lie intreasurèd. 86 . . .
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Such things become the hatch and brood of time,
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Are these things then necessities?
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I will take your counsel.
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And were these inward wars once out of hand, 111 We would, dear lords, unto the Holy Land.
Don Gagnon
KING I will take your counsel. 110 And were these inward wars once out of hand, 111 We would, dear lords, unto the Holy Land. 112 They exit.
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You had 22 not four such swinge-bucklers in all the Inns o’ 23 Court again.
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