Parsnips, Buttered: How to baffle, bamboozle and boycott your way through modern life

by Joe Lycett

LIFE HACK #285: Recreate Reading and Leeds Festivals at home by draining your iPhone battery and shitting yourself in the garden.

Just did a wank on a snail lol

I know it is illegal to draw on a banknote, but what are the legal repercussions of creating a giant origami statue out of £5 notes depicting the Queen putting her middle finger up at a newborn baby?

I think that countries like the US and the UK should be accepting these people, feeding them, homing them, including them, but people in power think that’s a bad idea either ’cause it’ll upset some people or because they’re not sure if putting them all on a Megabus is technically worse for their human rights.

The punishment for homosexuality in these countries is oft jail, the logic of which I have never understood. ‘Oh you like men? We’ll put you in a box with some.’ Not exactly a punishment, lads!