Unseen Messages

by Pepper Winters

He would be happy with me. I’d give him safe harbour to relax and stop judging himself. He would find value in his worth by the way I held him, thanked him, and looked into his eyes as he slipped inside me.

“You’ve been honest with me, so I’ll be honest with you. I want you. You know that. The thought of giving you everything that I am terrifies me, but I’d happily trade my stories for yours. I want your hands on my skin, your tongue in my mouth, and your body—” He groaned, “Then do it. You have me.” His hand stretched out, his fingers imploring me to take them. “Please…come here.”

I couldn’t give him my heart, but I could keep him alive.

Love is a complicated entity. Love is the worst affliction imaginable. I’m no longer myself. Love changed me. I’m no longer happy. Love ruined me. I’m no longer alive. Love killed me. I’m no longer breathing. Love consumed me.

“Just tolerate me for a few seconds and then I’ll be gone.” Her eyes dropped back to my thigh. Tolerate? She thought I couldn’t tolerate her? Shit, I was in love with her. I spent my days falling more and more into goddamn love with her, and she thought I could barely tolerate her? Stupid, stupid woman.

I buckled. I submitted. No, I gave in. Feeling you come apart. Watching you fall apart. Listening to you break apart. It makes me want you so much more. Too much more. Terrifyingly more. I failed. I lost. No, I finally let myself win.

I couldn’t find the courage to admit that, yes, I was in love with him, yes, I wanted him with every fibre of my body, and yes, I would bind myself to him on our island, in a city, or on any place on Earth.

I’m hurting. I’m angry. I want the memories of what I did to leave me alone. I want to be a good person again. I want her so fucking much. I want to taste and touch. I want to lick and stroke. I want to be off this goddamn island so I might stand one chance with her.

I’m grateful for the sun reminding me that every new day brings a better tomorrow.

Because one thing I was sure of, I was in love with her. Irreversibly, indescribably, completely, madly in bloody love with her.

Prison bars might no longer cage me, but the ones around my soul did. However, Estelle had the power to blow apart the lock, decimate the gate, and hand me the keys to fight for my freedom.

“I’ve never wanted anything as much as I want you.” He kissed my eyelids. “Never been so bloody desperate to be with anyone as much as I am with you.” He kissed my cheeks. “I’m going to have you, Stel. I’m going to claim you, satisfy you, corrupt you.” He kissed the corner of my mouth. “I’m going to seduce you, and once you’re thoroughly seduced, I’m never going to let you leave me.”

“You don’t have to be scared of me or of being together…promise me you won’t keep us apart.”

She sucked in a breath as I kissed the sharp lines of her collarbone. It was my favourite part of her. The one area of her body that made me so damn hard.

Estelle gasped. “Galloway…” Her eyes watered. “That’s…it’s beautiful.” “Pfft. It sucks. But it’s my first attempt. Next one, I’ll do better.” “You always say that. And I keep saying that I love your first endeavours.” Love.

Estelle stood and looked at the tired children with such love in her eyes, I swore a cluster of planets existed in her gaze. It was more than just love. It was contentment. Satisfaction. Fulfilment. Who would’ve thought such things existed in the middle of nowhere.

My heart is the drum, my feet are the chords, and my fate is my finest melody.

“I love having this sort of power over you.” “Woman, you’ve had this power over me all along.” His eyes closed as I squeezed a little tighter. “You just didn’t pay attention.” “Are you saying I’m unobservant?” “I’m saying you’re everything I’ve ever wanted.”

“I guess what I’m trying to say is I love you. I bloody love you. I’ve loved you for months and to finally be able to tell you. Hell, it’s the biggest weight off my heart.”

“Tell me what?” “Tell you that I love you.” He sucked in a harsh breath. “You’re not just saying that?” “I’m not just saying that.” “You love me?” “I love you. I’m in love with you. I fall more for you every day.” I fanned myself dramatically. “And after that…well, I think you own my heart completely now.”

“I’ll never hurt you. Ever.” “I know that, G.” “And I’ll never stop loving you, now that you’re mine.” “I’m holding you to that.”

I was his. I think… I’ve always been his.

“How am I supposed to live after having you love me?”

“You think I’ll be able to leave you alone now? After that?” He looked at the stars through the canopy. “No way. I’ve been addicted to you since we got here. Now that I’ve been allowed to have you, there’s no way I’m letting you go.”

“I’ve been hard for you for so long, Estelle. Half-crazy, no, that’s a lie, totally crazy with wanting you.”

“Where have you been all my life?” He kissed me softly. “Waiting.” “Waiting?” “Waiting for this.” Stretching, I gave him everything I was. “Waiting for you to find me.” “And now that I’ve found you?” “You’re mine.” “Forever?” “Forever.”

I would never admit out loud that I’d accepted this as my home, but in my heart, I couldn’t deny it. This was my place. My safety. My chosen sanctuary.

My ankle might never heal completely but with Estelle in my world…I began to think my soul just might.

Estelle wouldn’t die because there was no death where love was concerned. And I loved her. To Pluto and back.

We were married. Until death did us part. And even then, I’d put up a fight to keep her.

Coco’s first word was Co. For her older brother. Her favourite person.

“I’ll never tire of hearing you say that.” “What, prick?” “No.” He chuckled. “Husband.” “Husband?” “Yes, wife. Never stop calling me it.” My heart fluttered. “I won’t.”

She was the mother of my child. The keeper of my heart and guardian of my soul, and if that didn’t make her my baby, my wife…then I would die never knowing the meaning of what did.

Death was a divorce. The most bitter, awful divorce.

He was my havoc, my harmony, my only chance at hope.

Who do you thank when life gives you your deepest wishes? Who do you curse when it takes away your greatest triumphs? Who do you beg when nothing you want works out? Who do you pray to when the impossible comes true? I don’t have the answer. I doubt anyone does.

I’d lived three lives. An Englishman’s existence. A felon’s incarceration. And a crash wrecked survivor’s. But none of those defined me. Only one thing did. This woman. My wife. My home.

Money. It can’t buy happiness. It can buy happiness. But it can’t buy health. It can’t buy love. It can’t buy a future that is priceless. Money makes everything easier, but it can’t buy dreams. And dreams are what I want.

We weren’t together because we’d been the only adults on our island. We were together because our souls had bonded, our hearts had glued, and our two had become one.

“After so long of not seeing clearly. After so long of falling in love with a woman I knew was beautiful inside and out, now I can see her. Truly see her. And I can’t believe how lucky I am.”

“I can completely and honestly say that I have the most stunning wife in the world.”

Just a simple gold band with the words: You crashed with me. I fell for you. I love you.

Home is where the heart is. Home is where the soul is found. Home is where the good times laugh. Home is where the hard times heal. Home is home and there is no place I would rather be.

“Always so practical.” He grinned. “That’s why you married me.” I leaned over and kissed him. “One of the many reasons.”

Galloway suddenly scooped me into his arms. Saltwater rained from my toes. “What are you doing?” I laughed. “Walking you over the threshold, of course.” “That’s very nice of you. However, I do believe we’re past that in our marriage.” “Never past romance, Estelle.”

“Does this wanting you ever stop?” “I hope not.” “You like having this power over me?” “Like it? No.” She smiled. “I love it.” “I love you.” “I love you.” Our lips re-joined.

“I crash landed to find him. I fell from the sky to know him. I died a mortal death to be worthy of him. I am reborn because of him. “If rescue never comes, know I didn’t need it. If help never arrives, know I didn’t want it. If we die here together, be happy knowing this was our destiny. “Don’t find us. Don’t mourn us. Don’t weep for us. Because we were the lucky ones, the chosen ones, the only ones for each other.”

“Forever. “More than forever. “For eternity.”