The Philokalia

by Nicodemus of the Holy Mountain

55. Those who reach the goal without falling do so through hating themselves and all worldly desires, distractions, pleasures and preoccupations, for this is what 'denying oneself amounts to. Hence everyone expels himself from the kingdom by his own choice, through not embracing suffering and denying himself for the sake of the truth, but wanting to enjoy something of this world in addition to that divine longing, and not surrendering the whole inclination of his will to god. This may be understood from a single example. On examining himself a man realizes that what he is so eager to do is wicked. At first he feels doubt about it in his heart. Next, the measure and balance in his conscience make it clear inwardly whether the bias inclines to love for god or love for the world; and after that he proceeds to outward action. If for instance someone happens to have fallen out with his brother, then he examines himself, as we have said. At first he finds himself hesitant about whether to speak or not to speak, whether to return the insults hurled at him or to keep silent. At this point the man still remembers god's commandments, but he also thinks about his own reputation and has not fully chosen to deny himself. If a bias in favor of the world tips his heart's balance even slightly, an evil word will at once be on the tip of his tongue. When this happens, with the intellect stretched inwardly like a bow he attacks his neighbor with his tongue and even with his hands - indeed, ...