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It was this living a lie, all around him and within him, that did most to poison the last days in the life of Ivan Ilyich.
He sensed that the pain came from being thrust into that black hole and, what was worse, not being able to get through. What was preventing him from getting through was his insistence that his life had been a good one. This vindication of his lifestyle was holding him down, preventing him from moving on, and causing him the greatest suffering.
