My Struggle: Book 5 (My Struggle #5)

by Karl Ove Knausgård

I introduced Gunvor to Yngve and Asbjørn and his other friends, who in a way had become mine, too, or not friends exactly but at any rate people I was often with, by dint of being Yngve’s younger brother, my safeguard in Bergen, and she was a great hit with them. That wasn’t so strange, it was impossible not to like Gunvor, she always laughed at what others said, was sociable and affable, didn’t take herself seriously, but nor was she frivolous, she worked hard at what she did and was no stranger to high seriousness, she also had a strong work ethic, you had to work, you had to go to lectures, you had to read, only then did you deserve time off. But this sense of moral duty, which I also knew and regarded as an enemy, something I had to oppose, something that stood for the opposite of what I wanted to be, this sense of moral duty didn’t weigh heavy on her, it didn’t affect her personality, it was more like a kind of guiding line, thin and straight and strong, a sinew in her soul, not visible but important, it gave her strength and security, meant that she never doubted that where she was and what she was doing were right. When I was with her it was as though something was being drawn out of me. The darkness became lighter, the crippled straighter, and the strange thing was that it didn’t come from outside, it wasn’t that she lit the darkness, no, it was something that happened inside me because I saw myself with her eyes, and not just my own, and in her eyes there was noth...