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There is such a thing as too much loss. Too much has been taken from you both—taken and taken and taken, until there’s nothing left but hope, and you’ve given that up because it hurts too much. Until you would rather die, or kill, or avoid attachments altogether, than lose one more thing.
But the anger is nebulous, directionless; she hates the world, not anyone in particular. That’s a lot to hate.
You pretended to hate him because you were a coward. But you eventually loved him, and he is part of you now, because you have since grown brave.
The way of the world isn’t the strong devouring the weak, but the weak deceiving and poisoning and whispering in the ears of the strong until they become weak, too.