All the Ugly and Wonderful Things

by Bryn Greenwood

I loved her then, right as I was getting ready to leave her.

“I wish I weren’t afraid. It seems so silly to be afraid, but it feels like driving to a new place and not knowing where I’m going,”

Then one day she woke up Scary Mama instead of Good Mama, and I knew things weren’t going to be different. I never knew which Mama she would be when she woke up.

I thought about how he left spaces for me when he talked. If I saw him again, I decided I might put words in those spaces.

We need a better system. Some way for you to let me know where you are.” I liked that he wanted to know, but I also liked him not knowing. Sometimes waiting and being disappointed was good, to remind me he didn’t belong to me. Nothing belonged to me.

and whether she intended it or not, gifts take up space in your heart. I needed that space now.