The Power of the Other: The startling effect other people have on you, from the boardroom to the bedroom and beyond-and what to do about it

by Henry Cloud

the myth that something dysfunctional is contributing to success. You’ve heard it too with comments like this: “He’s such a jerk, but I guess that’s how he got to where he is.” Or even: “If I were more of a shrew at work, I probably would be running this company.” Trust me. Neither statement is true. Being a jerk, or a narcissist, or having an anxiety disorder that drives one to double-check everything—these are not the personality traits that make for great success.

The truth is that Steve Jobs was successful because of incredible talent, brains, vision, marketing abilities, design strengths, charm, and initiative. He was assertive, he had amazing reservoirs of creative energy, and he didn’t hesitate to push people to their limits and beyond. These are all positive attributes that made him successful. The jerk behavior just got in the way, unless you think getting fired, losing key people and relationships, and creating sometimes toxic environments are the recipe for an iPhone. It was not the oppressive, domineering behavior that made it all work. Apple worked in spite of it and probably could have been even more outstanding without it. What if he had never gotten fired? What might the company have done if he’d been less difficult? Mark these words: Nice guys do not finish last, and jerks do not finish first. Great performers finish first, and if they are great and good people, they do even better.