The Power of the Other: The startling effect other people have on you, from the boardroom to the bedroom and beyond-and what to do about it

by Henry Cloud

One of the words we hear thrown around the most in any kind of performance circle is accountable. Most people mean by it that someone who is accountable is being held responsible for some result, choice, behavior, or the like, and with consequences. One of the problems we see most often is that accountability conversations are held in negative emotional climates, with toxic outbursts and shaming. We hear “How could you have done that?” and “How could you have let that happen?” (These are really statements, not questions. They mean “You’re an idiot!”) Accountability has too often meant coming down hard on someone, and we know what that accomplishes: division without learning.